Gay Wentie goes to Ellen
April 30, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at April 30, 2006 12:00:00
I received the following email last week from Amanda in LA who finally saw the obvious: "ok i never fully thought that wentworth was actually gay until i saw him on ellen today and she said something to him and he said "that"s right...BRAVA, BRAVA." who the f*ck says BRAVA, BRAVA??? i don"t even thing straight men know the word BRAVA! honestly i dont even think straight men know the word BRAVO. wentworth=BIG OLE GAY!" Needless to say, I was immediately intrigued and decided to catch the episode on repeat for myself and it soon turned into a game of Spot the Gay. In addition to "Brava", Wentie also speaks with an affected yet adorable little lisp accompanied by a weird voice immodulation thing - similar to what Will Ferrell parodied on SNL a few years ago, almost as though he"s trying very very hard not to squeak and squeal and clap a little and snap his fingers. Then there was was the curious way he said "thank you" to an audience full of panty ripping horndoggettes hootin" and hollerin" for his every move - without any trace of hetero acknowledgement, eerily reminiscent of how my own flame boys talk to me in that detached, void of any sexual interest tone when I ask them to "look at my ass and tell me if it looks fat in these jeans." Put it all together and you get the opposite effect. Because for all his straight play and homo smothering, Wentie might as well put on a pair of chaps, pour oil all over himself, and wait patiently for Tom Cruise. I"m telling you, girls. Watch it for yourself on YouTube and I guarantee you his inner gay will pop out and take you shoe shopping. Enjoy.