The GMD: a change of ass

September 5, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at September 5, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
How long you reckon it"s been since the Gay Midget Dwarf touched a girl"s ass, let alone kiss one? Me? I"m willing to bet it"s been boy bums for at least a decade. But that Operation Damage Control is officially upon us, Tom Cruise has put his tail between his little legs and made amends to Brooke Shields and Brooke, in turn, has played right along, revealing on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno that Tom came over, said sorry so sincerely and so "impressively" that she accepted his "heartfelt" apology without hesitation. Imagine that! A man who admits to being wrong? And isn"t afraid to say so? Can you hear the thunderous collective loin quiveration of the MiniVan Majority rushing to pre-order the MI:3 DVD??? But seriously, gossips…other than your garden variety amateur gossip, who the hell is gonna buy this stunt? And the timing? Are you f&ckin" kidding me??? Hmmmm…let"s see now… Tom Cruise gets dumped by Paramount, Tom Cruise fights to save career, Tom Cruise endeavours to woo back his fans, most of whom are People Magazine -reading women with children, prone to hysteria and tears and spontaneous bursts of applause while watching Oprah. Conveniently enough, Brooke goes on Leno on Friday, Tom comes to her house the day before, on Thursday, pleads for forgiveness, Brooke somehow ends up talking about this with Jay Leno, opening the door for his publicist t0 release a statement the next day, confirming the friendly visit and at the same time, underlining Tom"s stance against anti-depressants. Um, like, I know you"re sick of me saying this...but COME ON, gossips. Do I even have to ask? Coincidence or conspiracy? You canNOT tell me you think this *just* happened. So the question now becomes - have they converted Brooke? Is this plus one for Team Sci? Like I said last week, y"all…it"s much much too early to write this guy off. They are crafty in ways we cannot even begin to understand…and where in the name of Liberace is that bloody book???
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