Tom & Katie: pitch presence, pitch pants

October 16, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at October 16, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
Have you ever seen 2 people smile so bloody hard? In analysing the hetero campaigning efforts of the GMD, I"d actually place his constant pitch presence on the side least offensive. Sure the cameras are always there, sure it"s a convenient way to assert his virile fathering capabilities, sure it"s catering to the MiniVan Majority and yet there has never been any reliable gossip about his shortcomings as a parent. So since my own vertically challenged dad was always front and centre at every recital, at every badminton match (I *am* Chinese after all), at every end of year awards presentation…truth be told, I really can"t hate on Tom for Saturday soccer. Sorry. I will hate on him however for the kissing, for the handholding, for the handholding while sitting, for the handholding while cheering - for the love of Buddha, give me a farking break! It"s bad enough the obvious attempt at media fleecing, but how do the kids feel? Can you imagine??? I know how mortified I get when my European father in law starts talking about breasts at the dinner table, I can"t even fathom going back to 13, poor Isabella, and seeing my father stick his gleaming teeth inside another woman"s mouth week in and week out in the presence of all my friends and worse yet, all the boys I have crushes on! Oh and on the subject of embarrassment… Um…what"s with the pants man? Two inches too short and two inches too tight - some of my friends call these the White Rice and Canned Fish Pants, coming from a time when our parents were new immigrants, barely able to serve anything other than rice and fish for dinner, let alone new pants for every growth spurt. Now wearing trousers like these is perfectly acceptable for families struggling to make it in a new country but what in the name of Lagerfeld is Tom"s excuse??? Three words: Bitch.Beating.Fan. Photo source
Previous Article Next Article