He is The Saviour

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 17, 2008 09:51:35 January 17, 2008 09:51:35

Sweet Xenu – the clips just keep on coming! More footage from that Scientology instructional video has been released and it gets freakier and funnier. And they keep using that dude’s voice!!!

Two clips for your viewing pleasure. The first is a brilliant demonstration of Scientology fellatio – 5 minutes of blowing stardust (or ethics) up Tom Cruise’s ass, pretty much asserting that he saved America from the environmental effects of 9/11 and is single-handedly (with the help of the spirit of L Ron Hubbard) saving the education system.

The 2nd video is from that Xenu gala where Tom won his award. Tom gets up to make a speech – the same speech he delivered in A Few Good Men. It’s really rather remarkable.

Now remember, these clips are taken from Church promotional videos. Obviously the Church is pushing him out there as its #1 recruiter, dangling his star power to a potential vulnerable new flock attracted to celebrity. Before you laugh your ass off though, consider this message that was just posted on the Us Weekly comment section regarding these videos from an anonymous reader:

IF THESE VIDEOS WERE INTENDED TO MAKE ME DISLIKE CRUISE, THEY HAD THE OPPOSITE EFFECT. I AM REALLY IMPRESSED WITH TOM AND HIS DESIRE TO HELP PEOPLE. HIS RELIGION LOOKS LIKE IT REALLY WANTS TO HELP PEOPLE. THE GUY IS PASSIONATE ABOUT WHAT HE BELIEVES IN AND I RESPECT THAT!

And while the majority of us find this business hilarious, there are a few, a small few but a significant few nonetheless, who will somehow find it “inspiring”. Captivated by the new Saviour, they will open their hearts, they will open the door, they will open their wallets. There are over 300 million people in the United States. If even the teeniest tiniest fraction of those people decide Tom is The Way, and pay for the services… well… already that’s many, many, many millions going straight to Xenu. And that’s also just domestic.

Think of how successful Tom The Saviour can be in Asia, in the land of Hello Kitty where they lobotomise themselves with cartoons anyway.

Chills, chills, chills.

Even more chilling?

This video was purportedly released in late 2004 or early 2005, perhaps the first step in the launch of an aggressive campaign. Guess who Tom met in 2005?

Yes, of course. It was Katie Holmes.

Praise Xenu, ah-Thetan.

Click here to view the videos.


Tags: Tom Cruise
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