Tom Cruise Gossip

Tom Cruise gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

The GMD & Cher

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 8, 2008 00:00:00 February 8, 2008 00:00:00

Cher is coming out of retirement and she’s hitting the talk show circuit to promote her new tour. Seriously… is she hard up for cash? Why do you these people promise to hang it up only to take it down five minutes later??? Anyway, this morning on Good Morning America, Cher revealed that she once dated the GMD. Full Story

Crazy Uncool

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 7, 2008 06:58:50 February 7, 2008 06:58:50

Being crazy is one thing. Because if you’re cool and crazy, it’s all good. Cool can turn crazy into an artform – just ask Christopher Walken. But there is nothing, nothing, nothing worse in showbiz than being uncool. And Tom Cruise is uncool. Tom Cruise is SO uncool that he makes anyone who associates with him uncool too. Full Story

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Second Sci vs the Second Coming?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 31, 2008 05:15:02 January 31, 2008 05:15:02

Of course the GMD would want to crash this party… especially since the MiniVan Majority loves Hollywood baby fever. Besides, why pass up an opportunity to trump his ex wife Granny Freeze? But seriously… can you imagine how f&cking pissed Nicole Kidman would be? Prematurely believing she would own the spotlight with her long-awaited pregnancy, all off a sudden, Brad and Angelina come along to blow her frozen forehead out the water with the eagerly anticipated arrival of the Second Coming, whose birth will undoubtedly cause just as much worldwide over the top frenzy as the delivery of its sister the Chosen One Shiloh nearly two years ago. Full Story

Best Recovery: The GMD

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 28, 2008 08:40:19 January 28, 2008 08:40:19

You can kick him and punch him, you can expose him for a freak, but the GMD, like Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton, is as resilient as a cockroach. Simply put…he cannot be vanquished. What’s more, every temporary setback only makes him stronger. So he skipped the carpet last night, doesn’t look like KatE was with him, and showed up to present the major award of the evening to the cast of No Country for Old Men. Full Story

Best Hair: Javier Bardem

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 28, 2008 00:00:00 January 28, 2008 00:00:00

Bet your boob job Tom Cruise is jealous of Penelope Cruz. Bet your boob job, he wishes they could swap beds. And can you blame the GMD? Javier Bardem is horny-lookin’ mofo, non? Damn! Can year him speaking? In your ear? All sexy and Spanish and sh*t, getting you caliente in all the right places? It’s almost too much to stand, you know? Wonder if Tom Cruise had to excuse himself during Javier’s acceptance speech last night. Full Story

Lose Your Sh*t

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 22, 2008 13:16:42 January 22, 2008 13:16:42

I hope you were able to see the GMD’s freaky sci video last week. As you know, it was f&cking hilarious. And frightening. But this. This is genius. Genius on its own without any Tom Cruise recollection but if you remember Tom Cruise in the original, the brilliance of this new parody rises to another level. Full Story

Katie > KatE

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 21, 2008 09:37:54 January 21, 2008 09:37:54

It’s official… Katie Heigl is America’s new Sweetheart. Not only that, she’s succeeded where so many others, where almost all the other tv girls have failed: Katherine Heigl is the TV Girl who became a Movie Star. Because Katherine Heigl has never overreached. She’s content to cater to the MiniVan, you see? As she herself said recently, she has no desire for serious “Oscar-baiting” roles, no desire to become Charlize Theron’s Monster, no desire to fake a British accent, no desire to do anything but chick flick fare. Full Story

GMD & Son at The Cut

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 18, 2008 06:36:57 January 18, 2008 06:36:57

The GMD celebrated his son’s birthday last night by taking him to The Cut, where real men eat steak. As you can see, both Tom and Connor dressed for the occasion and appeared to be alone (no other photos as of press time) – the first sighting of Connor in ages. You’ll recall, just over a year ago, we were treated to regular weekly sightings of Connor and Isabella at Saturday soccer during Katie’s pregnancy and shortly thereafter. Full Story

He is The Saviour

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 17, 2008 09:51:35 January 17, 2008 09:51:35

Sweet Xenu – the clips just keep on coming! More footage from that Scientology instructional video has been released and it gets freakier and funnier. And they keep using that dude’s voice!!! Two clips for your viewing pleasure. The first is a brilliant demonstration of Scientology fellatio – 5 minutes of blowing stardust (or ethics) up Tom Cruise’s ass, pretty much asserting that he saved America from the environmental effects of 9/11 and is single-handedly (with the help of the spirit of L Ron Hubbard) saving the education system. Full Story

The GMD’s Top Gun Salute

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 17, 2008 07:37:53 January 17, 2008 07:37:53

More hilarity courtesy of the GMD’s devotion to Xenu – yet another video has surfaced of Tom receiving the IAS Freedom Medal of Valour Award at some Scientology clusterf&ck (???) and saluting a huge portrait of L Ron Hubbard on stage. Like Top Gun all over again. Except this time we’re fighting aliens and no hot men playing beach volleyball. Full Story

Xenu Spoofed!

Lainey Posted by Lainey at January 16, 2008 00:00:00 January 16, 2008 00:00:00

Am assuming you read yesterday’s post on GMD and his pro-Sci rant. Now a spoof video has hit YouTube and while it is not as frightening, it is equally as hilarious. Only without giving you chills. Especially the part with abut spaceships. Full Story