Tom Cruise Gossip

Tom Cruise gossip, latest news, photos, and video.

Jessica Alba: a warning from the Goddess

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 10, 2006 12:00:00 August 10, 2006 12:00:00

Next to the likes of Tori Spelling and Heather Mills, Jessica Alba"s sins might be slight. But like all breeds of fungus, this bitch is growing exponentially and the Goddess is watching, waiting, and warning. For a refresher on the Alba antics, enter "Alba" in the search field and click on go. The quick and dirty? She"s a petty, jealous, mean spirited cow who will not hesitate to spit on the little people and, as I"ve said before, I"ve got over a dozen eager victims lined up and waiting for camera time to share their story on television. Full Story

The FutureSex of Justin Timberlake

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 9, 2006 12:00:00 August 9, 2006 12:00:00

Does this mean he"s turning his back on Rock Your Body and the disco video? According to Popbytes, this is the new album cover. Me? Not feeling the skinny legs. Because although I"m all for long and lanky, it"s been a summer of football thunder thighs and call me Cruise but I"d rather find myself gripped between a set of simmering solid quads than awkwardly leaning against two sticks accessorised by JT"s adolescent undropped balls and the ever present pipsqueak, you know what I mean? Full Story

Pene on the Payroll

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 4, 2006 12:00:00 August 4, 2006 12:00:00

I"m sure you"ve heard - apparently Penelope Cruz has also had the privilege of seeing Suri and, like Jada Pinkett Smith and Leah Remini before her, she has repeated the mantra: Little Sci is a beauty, the most beautiful baby ever, of all time, stampted, no blocksies, swear on John Travolta"s favourite gay massage therapist. Full Story

Nicole Richie: style style style

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 4, 2006 12:00:00 August 4, 2006 12:00:00

Call me Cruise but I think she"s a little little fuller. A LITTLE. A TEENSY BIT. Not a whole lot, so chillax, ok? I"m not saying she"s there yet, I"m just saying she"s on her way. I hope. On a different note, can we talk a quick sec about her style? LOVE her style. LOVE her choices. Even love her buggy glasses - so much more creative and original than Par-ee, although the credit probably goes all to Rachel Zoe - is she still working with her these days? Anyway, case in point, check out these shoes. Full Story

Will Ferrell hates gay midgets

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 2, 2006 12:00:00 August 2, 2006 12:00:00

Thanks to Jessica B and so many others for the heads up but I had to laugh when my husband"s comedic idol appeared on The Daily Show last night and actually blamed "gay midgets" for all the ills of Hollywood. Obviously a parody on the Gibson situation and yet, dare I hope that a term I coined, the GAY MIDGET DWARF, has somehow reached the consciousness of the legendary Ricky Bobby??? The same Ricky Bobby who runs flailing in flames during one scene in Talladega Nights, begging to be saved by Jesus and Tom Cruise??? Do you even have to ask what movie I"ll be seeing this weekend? My love and gratitude to all of you who continue to spread knowledge of the GMD. Full Story

Smith Scientology

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 27, 2006 12:00:00 July 27, 2006 12:00:00

You know the drill… it"s Cruise time, which means I need to begin with a disclaimer just because the Tommy legal mission is hungry for Chinese ass these days. What you are about to read is gossip and rumour and conjecture and should not be interpreted as fact because Tom Cruise is not only almighty, he is also allstraight, and his Church is a beacon of light in our otherwise too-gay world. Full Story

Katie Holmes: retail numbing

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 19, 2006 12:00:00 July 19, 2006 12:00:00

Dear Cruise Legal Team: You know my usual song and dance by now, don’t you? Still…just because I know y’all love to protect your client’s well preserved and perky ass… please note that what’s below is simply silly and brainless unfounded chatter. I mean, who in their right mind would question TomTom’s penile leanings? Isn’t it plainly obvious that it’s the women and certainly not the men who turn his crank and bring out those freaky teeth? Because it is to me!!! So bear with me while I go through the rumours, ok? This is what non-audited non-Scientologists do to spend their alien-infected lives. Full Story

Steven succumbs to Scientology?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 16, 2006 12:00:00 July 16, 2006 12:00:00

Over the last few months, Page Six has chronicled an alleged feud between the GMD and super director Steven Spielberg that supposedly began when Tom disappointed Steven by focusing much of his efforts during War of the Worlds press time to Church teachings and psychiatry-bashing. Full Story

The Kidmans in Canada

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 16, 2006 12:00:00 July 16, 2006 12:00:00

So Keith performed in Sarnia, Ontario last week and brought along his wife. And according to many of you who’ve written in with the published and unpublished details, there was arguably more excitement about HER presence than there was about his. Apparently the crowd even began calling for her at one point in the concert, which would mean that, contrary to the Cruise debacle, some contracts actually DO pay off. Full Story

Wednesday, July 12, 2006 Dear gossips, If CNN and NBC and every major American news outlet has joined us in the search for Little Sci - does that mean the GMD has accomplished his mission? Can you say building to a frenzy? Can you say dollar signs all around? In today"s issue: Janice Min sights Katie Holmes, more Little Sci speculation, an exclusive little tip about Lindsay and McBongo, the Beckham clones, the karma face, the Moses, and the new Texas p&ssy patrol. PS. Like the new banner?

Momma Sci emerges, Little Sci still missing

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 12, 2006 12:00:00 July 12, 2006 12:00:00

Brilliant coup for Us Weekly, non? After weeks and weeks of undercover parenting, Katie has finally been spotted in Telluride, Colorado with coffee and without Suri. As you can see, she looks pretty good. And thankfully not yet a stick insect. Now according to the article, some "clerk at a natural food store" was able to get a good look at the "funny looking" baby, which hasn"t necessarily put a kibosh on the conspiracy tautology that has hit new dramatic heights thanks to the TMZ release of the birth certificate yesterday. Full Story