Junior’s Sperm Finds a Second Jackpot

January 24, 2008 11:26:46 Posted at January 24, 2008 11:26:46
Lainey Posted by Lainey

Like his mentor Kevin Federline, KFed Jr’s boys can swim hard. And when they dive, they always hit the target. In Touch Weekly is reporting that Tori Spelling is pregnant and while In Touch is normally full of sh*t, Tori and Junior need the exposure.

Pregnant and another season of their reality television garbage at the same time… coincidence or conspiracy?

Oxygen, you see, has renewed their show, tentatively now called Still Inn Love (gag), that will follow them back to Hollywood to juggle parenthood and professional life. The press release actually says that:

“The Juniors are now returning to Los Angeles after succumbing to the hectic lifestyle of caring for a baby and pursuing their acting careers all while running a bed and breakfast.”

Ummmm…Junior had an acting career? WHAT acting career??? His only career is being Junior!

Thing is, the press release came out on January 22nd. And the world has since been consumed by tragic news. Which means Tori and Junior’s big announcement has been completely shoved aside.

With People and Us Weekly and the major players now focusing on the tragedy, needless to say, Junior had to hit up the bottom feeders. And so In Touch has scored what will probably be a rare accurate report.

Congratulations Junior! A second baby means more money. And you deserve it, dude. You really do. Professional consorts are so often underrated. Especially ones that have to take Gravol before having sex.

Brava. Well done.

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