October 11, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at October 11, 2006 12:00:00
New photo of Angelina en route to the set, ridiculously beautiful as usual. But because it’s Angelina…a new scandal has emerged…
A new report was released yesterday from Radar Online with alleged information that the Pitts have reneged on a pledge made to a Namibian pre-school originally made at the time of the Chosen One’s arrival. Full Story
October 11, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at October 11, 2006 12:00:00
Can you believe Janice Min gave her a cover story??? Over ghetto tits???
Like, duh...though I suppose the most enlightening revelation is finally a detailed definition on what exactly constitutes Ghetto Tittage and how one arrives at owning a pair.
In the article, Tara explains her decision, saying that one was always bigger than the other and because of constant weight loss and gain (binging and starving will do that), she decided to up her cups. Full Story
October 4, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at October 4, 2006 12:00:00
The incomparable Thomas Hardy on Jack Durbeyfield from Tess of the D"Urbervilles:
"Durbeyfield was what was once called a slack-twisted fellow; he had good strength to work at times; but the times could not be relied on to coincide with the hours of requirement; and, having been unaccustomed to the regular toil of the day-labourer, he was not particularly persistent when they did so coincide". Full Story
September 14, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at September 14, 2006 12:00:00
Well no wonder we’re in the midst of a full frontal hetero assault. Turns out, there is a bombshell brewing, and if this thing blows up – which I’m counting on you to facilitate – we could be privy to the most delicious smutty scandal of all time. No exaggeration.
Ah yes… those infamous Pellicano tapes. Full Story
August 31, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at August 31, 2006 12:00:00
Well well. Curious state of affairs, non? First the official split from Chad Lowe, then the vicious Vanity Fair article in which she reprehensibly outs his addiction, now word that she"s hooking up with her agent, some dude by the name of John, also in the midst of a messy separation, and a child involved no less?
How very Spelling of her, don"t you think?
Here"s the photo and while speculation runs rampant right now, it"s hard not to assume the worst, especially since - as reported by Us Weekly - Mr Campisi has yet to file for divorce. Full Story
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
In response to many of your emails, I have no idea what *officially* went down to make Angelina Jolie hate her father so much. And while I can"t argue with some of you who insist that a parent should never be treated so poorly, I will assert that his behaviour, at least publicly, has all the makings of sh&tty fatherhood, not only because he can barely remember the names of her children
, but also because he has taken to slinking around with an air of overcompensatory guilt that immediately gets my smutty sense raging with suspicion.
Unofficially? For the benefit of those who don"t have every "Brangelina" detail memorised and on top of years of dysfunctional family turmoil, it all started when Jon Voight leaked the Maddox adoption to the media before Angelina and Billy Bob had been able to confirm the baby"s visa. Shortly thereafter, she cut him off for good which of course prompted his now infamous on camera appeal to Angelina to seek professional help for her "mental problems", embarassing in and of itself but also putting her motherhood in serious jeopardy, resulting in threats to take her baby away, steady monitoring sessions, and increased social services scrutiny over the fact that she"d just become a single parent and her father told the world she was crazy.
Needless to say, I"m thinkin" this situation is a bit different from the Spelling one.
In today"s issue: the GMD"s new deal, Jessie"s new man, Nicole"s not-so-new bump, on Paris, on Posh, on Scarlett, on breasts, and gorgessity in all sizes.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Is it just me or do you miss Sex & The City? In fact, I miss the girls AND I miss the Friends. Believe it, I’m even more shocked than you are. Because even though the quality is perhaps better, with shows I now love more and tv that’s much more must see, you have to admit there’s a palpable dearth in fashion intrigue when the award for most anticipated red carpet arrival was bestowed upon Eva Longoria.
- is Jaclyn Smith aging well or what?
- Candy Spelling…GREAT job honey. Always knew this woman was a bitch to be reckoned with but those tears put her in a category all her own. Not excessive, the illusion of authenticity, a son by her side perfectly directed, said it before and I’ll say it again – Tori Spelling, Hollywood Welfare, karma calamity, thank Goddess.
- does Wentworth Miller have a personality? Just asking…
- Uhhhh…Nancy O’Dell – can you say awkward? Bringing up Oscar with Annette Bening? Are you crazy???
- Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, comedy quiveration for the loins. Yum.
- When the F*CK is Jane Kaczmarek going to win an Emmy, dammit???
- Mariska Hargitay? LOVE.
- The adorable, incomparable Blythe Danner? Tony & Emmy Award winning, legendary actress of the stage and screen, mother of my best friend Gwyneth? LOVE, LOVE
- The Academy allowing Conan to closet the GMD? LOVE LOVE LOVE.
In today’s issue: all Emmy and just a little Pitt.
August 10, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at August 10, 2006 12:00:00
Next to the likes of Tori Spelling and Heather Mills, Jessica Alba"s sins might be slight. But like all breeds of fungus, this bitch is growing exponentially and the Goddess is watching, waiting, and warning. For a refresher on the Alba antics, enter "Alba" in the search field and click on go. The quick and dirty? She"s a petty, jealous, mean spirited cow who will not hesitate to spit on the little people and, as I"ve said before, I"ve got over a dozen eager victims lined up and waiting for camera time to share their story on television. Full Story
August 9, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at August 9, 2006 12:00:00
I know the feeling. My mother shows no mercy at mahjong. During one particular family friendly she fleeced me for a hundred bucks and made me pay for dinner afterwards. She called it "training"…I call it torture, something 32 years with Ah Chicken has not tempered.
Needless to say, Tori"s c-bomb playbook is no match for Candy"s. Full Story
August 7, 2006 12:00:00
Posted at August 7, 2006 12:00:00
So I was in line at the supermarket the other day, flipping through my bible Us Weekly, when I happened upon their poll section, asking people if they thought Tori had been "cheated" out of her inheritance. A whopping 80% of respondents sided with Aaron Spelling"s neglectful daughter.
Oh really??? Hmmmm. Full Story
Wednesday, August 2, 2006
Sorry to disappoint but there will be no Mel bashing today. Or any other day. Because child star child molesters and suicidal middle aged racist hatemongers do no constitute my idea of fun smut. Instead, let"s focus on Paris Hilton"s black hole vajayjay
and the feng shui nightmare raining down on Tori Spelling.
But… if you"re looking for a final word on what I think of Mel and some more thoughts on why Dina Lohan is primed for Hades, help yourself to this recent article from The Canadian Press
(thanks Andrea!) for which I was asked to offer commentary.
In today"s issue: a column with Canadian colours - on Ryan, Ryan, Alanis, Rachel, and Elisha; on Tori"s tough times; on Buffy"s limp career; on Ricky Bobby and the Gay Midget Dwarf; on the Alba bitch and her piss pants attitude; on anorexics, recovered and otherwise; and a little Zizou to get you through the midweek hump.