The Return

January 6, 2012 17:52:40 Posted at January 6, 2012 17:52:40
Duana Posted by Duana

Vampire Diaries Season 3 Episode 10 recap

Oh man, it’s been so long since a Vampire Diaries I don’t know whether I remember how to do this!   Previously, Klaus messed up everyone’s lives, basically Stefan’s by way of  enslaving him, until Damon frees him that is, and then Damon, looking a hundred, bitches to Elena that he could have gotten Stefan free…but he sort of is free, so stay tuned on that.   Anyway, Klaus wants to reanimate his ‘family’, which Stefan accurately points out is just a collection of caskets.

But that doesn’t stop him from stealing them.   

We open on Bonnie, heading to the house of the witches.   You’d think she would have been told several times to quit it with this, but she’s undeterred.   The voices greet her, whispery and all, but when she goes into the basement, it’s less ‘whispery’ and more ‘filled with coffins’.

Naturally, Bonnie flips one open, because that’s what you do, and comes face to face with a Klaus lookalike, if not the man himself.   He’s got Elena’s necklace wrapped in his fingers, and as Bonnie reaches for it, she wakes herself up.   Pretty Bedroom.

Elena, out for a run.   I would run too, if my town looked like gorgeous fall all year long (note:  the previous is a lie.   I would not).   Anyway, Elena’s finished and proud, but then keeps running when a guy behind her keeps running,  keeping her exact pace.   She’s sprinting now, and despite the really on-the-nose music, he’s not coming after her.  

Even though Elena says “I feel like I’m going crazy” at the top of the next scene, a whole bunch of us heard something slightly more…street.   Didn’t we?   Anyway, she tells Bonnie she’s feeling nuts because Klaus hasn’t made a move.   And Bonnie recaps that apparently that dream she had has been happening every night.    Bonnie asks about Stefan,  but when Elena says “he betrayed us, Bonnie”,   Bonnie correctly assumes this is code for “we’re doing it”.

Okay, I’m ahead of myself, but not by a ton…

Damon is drinking, Alaric is hanging out waiting for Jeremy.  It appears to be 9 AM.  But the cute bartender tells him Jere got fired last week.

Tyler and Jeremy are in the woods, shooting with a crossbow, and we  realize that in 2012,  Dick Lockwood has returned.   That’s not a character you’ve missed, that’s Tyler being a pain in the ass.  Anyway, he brag-asses that he’s a hybrid, and so Jeremy should try to shoot him.   When Jeremy does this incredibly ill-advised thing, Tyler catches the arrow.  

I like Elena least when she whines about Jeremy being on a bad track, but soon enough she’s soulfully asking Damon if he’s OK.   They flirt,and um, Somerhalder is aging in a way that I thought Damon couldn’t.   Anyway, SUPER flirty is interrupted by Klaus, who’s having a drink with a ‘friend’, the guy who was running behind Elena and freaking her the hell out…

Klaus presses the implausibility button by saying that though he wants to stay in Mystic Falls,  he won’t hurt them.   That is, of course, if they help him find Stefan who took his caskets.

Bonnie.  Witch house.   Dream or not? Unclear…she walks into the basement and….no coffins.   So I guess this is real life?  Then,  just as she’s wondering how she got it wrong, Stefan greets her.  “Hello Bonnie.”

So Bonnie’s biggest indignance is that he followed here there,  as though the place doesn’t have a sign outside saying “Bonnie’s Witch Friend House”.   He wants her to help keep the Klaus bodies hidden.   More indignance.   Stefan thinks the sheer force of her hatred will be enough  to help Bonnie do the job.

Elena and Alaric still had that vibe, in 2012.   You know what I’m talking about.  It’s not lessened when they double-time him on responsibility and why hanging out with Tyler Lockwood is bad.   

I can’t figure out why I find this part of Elena so irritating.  Partly because the age difference between them is so negligible, and, OH YES, because she gets herself into incredibly difficult situations daily.   I guess Jeremy’s human, or almost human so that’s a worry, but honestly,  all my goodwill for Elena goes out the window when she starts harping on him.   Don’t they have any family jokes?  Any similar goofinesses?   Elena never seems less like a teen or indeed like a sister than when she’s haranguing him, and to quote her, “it’s not so attractive”.   

Anyway, Jeremy feels the same way I do, and gets the best of Elena by inviting Tyler into the house.   He looks pretty proud, too.

Klaus shows up to have a drink with Damon.   They discuss how younger siblings are annoying, and YES THIS I BUY.   Anyway, neither of them believes the other re: the mystery whereabouts of Stefan or Rebecca.

Back home,  Elena is still bitching at Tyler’s face about how weird it is that he’s there.   He’s about as smug as you would think.    Anyway,  then Tyler discusses his hybridism,  and how it’s basically a cult.   Klaus is his blind leader.   Tyler tries and fails to explain how he can make his own decision.

Damon and Klaus, having a drink.   What morning is it?   They head into ‘we have a lot in common’,  and then Klaus gets mad that Damon didn’t find Stefan as he was requested.    He calls someone to ‘get on with’ something.

Back at the house, Jere hangs up the phone!  Please! Get him into the action!   Tyler leaves, and Alaric is drinking wine so please, please tell me what time it is? Elena and Alaric bitch about how Tyler’s a bad influence…

…and then Jeremy stands in front of a speeding car without his protective ring.   Alaric pushes him out of the way, as you do.

Klaus’ minion drives off, all ‘oops’.   Elena tells Jeremy he was compelled.   Okay, so fine.   It’s not like her brother’s not trouble-prone, it’s just that he’d get into it regardless…

Klaus and Tyler discuss what just went down, and surprise, Tyler didn’t think they’d have to kill anyone. Poor naïve Tyler.

Anyway, Damon comes over, while Alaric lies dead.   He points out Jeremy’s not wearing a vervaine bracelet either, and Elena is smugly justified that it’s because he was hanging out with Tyler.    

Lots of talking which amounts to Jeremy saying they’re being stupid by trying to find the originals’ caskets or not (and Bonnie’s been gone a long time now, no?) but that they should just blow town.   He accurately points out that they get on his case every time, but that they’re all going to die.  He storms out.

Elena discusses undaggering Rebecca, but Damon tells her no.    So she calls Bonnie, and there’s a lot of rigmarole before we hear what we already know – that she doesn’t need to use a locator spell.

So Elena and Damon go to Bonnie’s Witchy House, but they make his daylight ring irrelevant so Elena has to go in alone.    

Elena enters, finds Stefan, and implores Stefan to give her her family back.   She pleads, at length, that Klaus will kill Jeremy, and when Stefan intones that it’s not his problem, Elena cracks him across the face.    

Elena storms out of the house, and wow is her hair red in the sunshine.   Anyway, Damon says he’ll deal with his brother, and dives inside and into the basement with much pain and struggling.  

As usual, as soon as these two get into a room together, it’s fun and electric.   Stefan smarts off, so Damon drags him outside, stakes him, and they have the world’s angriest exchange of “I did it to save you”.  Damon stabs him again with a ‘Stop saving me”  but we know he didn’t believe it, exactly.   

Jere and Tyler have a big of a fight, in the woods, with a crossbow.   Tyler can’t really reply except to say that Jeremy should go home and be inside.   

But what’s going on inside?  Currently, Alaric is waking up as Elena comes home.   But actually,  he begins coughing up blood and says something’s wrong, he’s not living like he used to.   Elena calls the paramedics, but then – oops – jogger, Klaus’ friend arrives, and beseeches the paramedics to meet them at the hospital.  He explains that all that’ll fix Alaric is a sip of his blood…

You can tell she’s thinking about it, but then he falls – crossbowed by Jere, who knows the only way to kill him is to go to the kitchen,  get the knives that always seem to be lying around in the Gilbert household, and CUT HIS HEAD OFF.   So yes, I think Jeremy is proving himself useful.

Okay, Stefan and Damon are literally having a dare fight for each to say they care about each other.   Stefan has a plan to overthrow Klaus, and Damon wants to help.  Seriously, these two dare each other to say I love you.   Just not verbally.     Anyway,  Damon agrees that he, too, wants to help take Klaus down – and swears Elena won’t be involved.     We go inside where Stefan and Bonnie have constructed a neat trick whereby  the coffins of the dead others are hidden from view by the spirits at the Witch Sorority.   

Hospital.   Ugh.   This was also cringey.   All you need to know is that Alaric’s up and walking, and that his doctor is going to become significant because we learned both her first and last names.  Dr. Meredith Fell.   Look for her to die soon – February Sweeps?  I dunno.   Anyway, she flirts like mad and is shocked that it doesn’t go anywhere; Alaric just takes off.

Salvatore house.   Elena opens the door for Klaus – she couldn’t find Stefan, but invites him downstairs to the crypt to find Rebecca, all stakeyed.   It’s a straight exchange -  Rebecca for Jeremy.    But when Elena says she doesn’t know where Stefan is, Klaus threatens everyone else she loves.   Again.   As a parting gift, Elena – who’s doing a lot better at not trembling in his presence – says Rebecca’s not just mad at her, she’s ready to kill Klaus over having murdered their mother.    Is everyone OK with the number of murders going on? You need a chart?

Outside the hospital, Alaric catches up with Jeremy – and I guess he got better via Damon’s blood?  That sure was offscreen.   Anyway, Jeremy says he’s fine even though he killed a hybrid.   This is how it is.   I mean, it’s about time for all this.   Why they’ve protected Jeremy for so long is beyond me.   

But Elena doesn’t agree with me.   She’s doing the Lady Macbeth crying and scrubbing the blood as she tells Damon (who updates her on a little of this and that) that they can’t live like this anymore.  It’s not fair for Jeremy to kill people – even hybrid people.     This is all just words so that when she says things have to change, Damon can hold her  face and swear to her that they will.

Klaus.   He monologues at Rebecca a bit, and then re-daggers her.   So there’s that.

Elena, Damon, and Alaric upstairs with Jeremy.   It’s still a pretty whiplashy thing to feel like 18 months between he and Elena is enough for all this.   Anyway,  Damon is compelling Jeremy to leave town, and not think twice about it.   Elena’s crying and nodding tearfully that it’s exactly the right thing.  

Stefan and Bonnie discuss the coffins: they won’t open.  Possibly because of a spell.  Bonnie thinks the witches want her to open it.

Out on the porch, Elena thinks she’s a bad person, but Damon reminds her that compelled (to live a normal life) is way, way better than dead, where Jeremy’s concerned.    He tells her she’s a great sister.    And then, just strap on the squee for the rest of this…

Elena doesn’t know what she would do if Damon weren’t there.   She has the weepy doe eyes.   Damon tells her Stefan had a good reason for not letting him kill Klaus – he would’ve been killed himself.   And Damon hates that, because if Stefan hadn’t saved him, Damon wouldn’t have to feel guilty…

“For what?”
“…for wanting what I want”
“Damon…”

Damon walks away, all noble.   Then, he turns back into Damon and says “no, if I’m gonna feel guilty, I want to feel guilty about something”, plants one on her,  says goodnight, and leaves.  

Okay, so we’re back.  It wasn’t my favourite episode, since everyone was just kind of delaying the obvious: Jeremy is extraneous on this show and should be excused.    I’m sorry for poor little Steve McQueen, I am very, very thankful I won’t have to hear Elena lecture anymore,  but really, for both the show and the fictional characters, getting him out of the way will move things along quite nicely.

Everyone’s in the fight now.

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