Heather Mills: gold digger on the loose

May 18, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at May 18, 2006 12:00:00
Lainey Posted by Lainey
If Dean McDermott and Kevin Federline are the crown princes of golddiggery, Heather Mills must be the current Empress Dowager. On the 0ff chance you’ve been avoiding gossip over the last 2 days, you should know that Macca’s cut her loose, making Stella very happy, and yet so very concerned. After all…the dumb sod didn’t sign a pre-nup and as you would expect, the UK tabs are now having a field day speculating about how many millions that greedy little bitch will end up hobbling away with. Just on a tangent for a moment, for the benefit of us non Brits who don’t have every detail of Heather’s life memorised up and down: Did you know that her mother has only one leg as well??? Also lost in an accident??? What are the chances of a mother and a daughter BOTH LOSING ONE LIMB??? Now that’s some crazy sh*t right there y’all. Anyway, in an attempt to go the high road in what looks to be the beginning of a very expensive negotiation, Paul released a statement vouching for his ex wife’s pure heart, claiming that she did not marry him for money and that he holds her in the highest regard. Meanwhile, gossips in London are sniping that he’s wanted out for over a year and that she was becoming increasingly unhappy about living in his shadow, coveting a higher profile for her own work and her own image. … WTF??? He’s a frickin’ BEATLE!!! How many people on the planet can usurp a Beatle??? Still, in spite of these delusions of grandeur, there is no doubt Heather will become an obscenely wealthy woman, young enough to find monetary-motivated true love once again and likely very soon. Which, naturally, brings us back to Dean and Kevin. But since Dean seems well suited enough to that blindingly hideous homewrecker he married, I nominate Le Federline for Ms Mills. Quelle revenge that would be, non? Unfortunately, by all accounts, Heather is light years ahead of his game – a tough, calculating bitch destined for greater and other rich geriatric pastures. Dear Catherine Zeta Jones: Watch your back darling. Because Heather Mills is on the loose. Oh – and one more thing. Heather is NOT the subject of “Strong and Not”. Same goes for the Beckhams, although many of my London friends are convinced that that particular union won’t see 2007. Something about Victoria spending a lot of time with a very famous divorce lawyer and trying to reassert her own “individual” brand, deliberately venturing out sans her man of late. Hmmmm… Personally, I don’t think she’s willing to give up their supercouple status. I think she’s smart enough to realise she’s nothing without the Golden Balls and I think she’ll fight tooth and nail for the right to be his wife. Which is why I have a 50 pound wager on them making it for at least another year. Just one more reason why I keep praying to the Goddess. Posh & Becks fuh-evah… Please let it be so.
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