This is why I love Victoria. Victoria, you see, is an entertainer. Victoria understands the power of her own brand, why we"re obsessed, what exactly it is that keeps us coming back. There are those who write to me all the time - how could you love her so? She"s revolting, she"s a CHAV, she"s ridiculous, she"s crazy, she"s a bitch, blah blah blah blah blah.
Yes, gossips. I KNOW. It"s precisely THIS quality that I worship. She ain"t boring, she ain"t Aniston, she is not a "happy" freak hiding under the cloak of sweet America and a kick ass Malibu tan, pretending she would totally be your best friend. What, pray tell, is so interesting about that? My friends are "real", my friends are "normal"…I don’t need smut to deliver NORMAL. NORMAL is not great gossip. Normal is not a caricature with torpedo tits and lips that could handle c*ck all day long.
THAT is Victoria Beckham.
And THAT is why she changed her hair…again.
Because the short and funky, while classy and crisp, just didn"t fit with the cartoon existence. I understand my bitch, therefore I thoroughly approve.
So can we move on?
Because I have something even more inspiring to show you, thanks to Miriam for sending along the link.
Let me repeat.
Posh with no electric mixing or studio f&cking with her vocals. Posh acoustic.
Now before you destroy it - just a few words.
I KNOW the songs suck arse, the 2nd in particular. And yes, she had vocal accompaniment. And yes, she probably practised just these 2 selections for an entire frickin" year. And of course she"s no Christina, and yes, at times, many times, terribly off key…but whatever. Do you think Paris Hilton would ever attempt acoustic?
Anyway, if you dare, have a listen. You"ll cringe…but it"s frickin" hilarious. And it"s a great way to get over a hangover.
Have a listen.
UPDATE: Thanks to Priscilla for the info - these photos were misdated, and taken BEFORE the hair cut.
So, um, like ignore everything I just said. Except for the part about her singing, and her torpedo tits, and her caricature existence, and my unending worship for the woman.