Sarah Michelle Gellar: just another TV girl
May 21, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at May 21, 2006 12:00:00
Talk about nails on chalkboard. Here’s a bitch I can’t stand above all others, even Jennifer Aniston. Sanctimonious, rude, condescending – yet another tv girl hoping to make the big screen leap. Um…newsflash, Mrs. Freddie. Get in line and, while you’re at it, grow a new attitude. According to almost everyone I’ve ever talked to, SMG is apparently the biggest c-bomb that ever walked a film set with delusions of grandeur that could make even Paris Hilton seem modest. And the holier than thou goody 2 shoes image??? Don’t believe the hype, y’all. Do NOT believe the “happy” diet hype. Anyway, here she is in Cannes for Southland Tales. As you can see, she has the “I’m a serious actress” components all lined up: - The boring, Aniston-style “please take me seriously” dress - The “I’m a serious actress so I’ll stay brunette” hairstyle - The “I’m a serious actress” sour face and sour expression, complete with manufactured overbite and accentuated cheekbones, as if to say: I’d rather be running lines with Morgan Freeman so I can win an Oscar like Reese Witherspoon so please don’t ask me to be perky because I really don’t want to be here with you dumb f&cks taking my picture. Give me a break. Unfortunately for Sarah Michelle, there are several problems with this laughable daydream. The first is that she can’t act. The second is she’s not interesting. And the third is that she’s actually not lookin’ so perky anymore. Dark bags, not so fresh face, that irritating little nose is getting less and less cute and more and more witch – would YOU take SMG over Reese Witherspoon? Or Jennifer Garner? Or Rachel McAdams? Because these are the girls she’s competing with. And it’s a long, long list before Sarah Michelle Gellar even begins to matter. Which is why girlfriend should get off the happy, get herself knocked up, and pray to Goddess her husband remains as devoted to her as he’s been so far. Take it from Victoria Beckham, y’all. Sometimes you just have to wake up and smell your limitations.