The Daily Footie: Dwight Yorke
July 7, 2006 12:00:00 Posted at July 7, 2006 12:00:00
Would the list be complete without a Soca Warrior who used to play for United? Can you think of a more perfect combination? Beyond the obvious - the kind, winning smile, the ass smacking gyrations he proudly displayed during Carnival, the way he left his heart and soul on the pitch, how he led his team to the World Cup Finals for the first time ever - beyond all this, Dwight also has a rather salacious past: an ex lover, a paternity fight, a DNA test…all contributing factors to why he deserves to be recognised. Because what"s a sexy beast without a smutty history? So for the benefit of those who are blissfully unaware - there"s this abomination over in the UK called Jordan aka Katie Price, a girl who is famous for even less than that Hilton whore. Or more if you consider the size of her ridiculous knockers. I refuse to put her on my site and if I can help it, I will NEVER EVER write about her again. However, for the purpose of completing Dwight Yorke"s background, it is a necessary evil. Google her if you don"t know what she looks like. You"ll discover a newfound appreciation for Victoria Beckham, I promise. And in case you’re wondering – they hate each other. Anyway, Dwight and Jordan used to be an item. Word is she cost him his place at Man U. They broke up, she had a kid, she called him Harvey, Dwight denied Harvey was his, they did the test, proved his fatherhood, and since then, Jordan has been the unbleachable stain of his life. He went off to play in Australia, she"s now arguably the most "popular" celebrity in England, married some tanorexic wannabe rock star, and - get this - allegedly does that "Munchie House proxy" thing. You know when a mother keeps making her baby sick so that people will feel sorry for her? Yes, I know there"s an official word for it and I can easily google it for the answer but I"ve got a spot open at the 1-2 no limit texas hold"em table and I"m in a hurry so I trust you know what I mean? Now if you"ve seen photos of Harvey, the lad is ummm...how can I put it…. grossly overweight and apparently suffers from several medical ailments. My sources tell me that Jordan supposedly takes him to the hospital quite frequently and then feeds him candy bars and pumps him so full of sugar, he"ll never get to a healthy size again which means she can continue to get off on how much attention is heaped on her for having an ailing child. To my knowledge and I’ll be the first to admit I’m not exactly up to the minute with Jordan, Harvey spends most his time with her and her new husband and while Dwight says he wants more access to his son, she claims he has not proved himself to be a reliable father. This from a woman who has flashed her vaggie more times in public than Paris Hilton. So there you go, gossips. Dwight Yorke: a beautiful face, a beautiful body, a smutty resumé, a dramatic family life, and an ex lover who is even dirtier than Tara Reid. Kind of adds to his appeal, don"t you think?