What To Expect From Movies For Women
These days in Hollywood, pregnancy can make a career and save a career. People are obsessed with getting pregnant, talking about getting pregnant, talking about other people being pregnant, talking about what it was like when they were pregnant, missing being pregnant, not missing being pregnant, and every other permutation of getting pregnant and being pregnant I may not have thought of.
So of course, the next logical move? Make a movie about getting pregnant based on the definitive book about being pregnant, What To Expect When You’re Expecting.
And what should you expect when you go see What To Expect When You’re Expecting? Well, if the trailer is any indication, here now are my assumptions about pregnancy:
1.Pregnant women are adorably unstable! This cute unpredictability - in other words, the tendency to act CRAZY - means they will frequently embarrass themselves in public, often with a huge audience, but, guess what? She’s pregnant! So it’s not humiliating! It’s actually endearing!
2.Wives are shrews and control their men. Marriage is a female dictatorship, not a true partnership.
3.Having babies means bigger breasts and built-in opportunities to cup and admire them in front a male audience.
4.Husbands make mistakes caring for children but that’s only because they’re operating out of their natural comfort zone. So if they drop the baby, it’s the woman’s fault for trusting him with it in the first place.
They say in the end that we get what we deserve. A movie where Chace Crawford is the only one who doesn’t make you sick.
Off we go then, ladies. Let’s all go see What To Expect When You’re Expecting in May. Let’s make it a blockbuster hit.
Attached - Jennifer Lopez looking for talent for her new reality show in Uruguay yesterday.