Superhero Face Punch now has Parts I and II

January 9, 2015 20:52:38 Posted at January 9, 2015 20:52:38
Sarah Posted by Sarah
Photos: Splash

Earlier this week I got a document in my email listing projected release dates for trailers, and I noticed that Superhero Face Punch had a projected February trailer date. I thought that was a bit odd since its release, March 25, 2016, is more than a year away. But today a screenshot purported to be from the first trailer surfaced on Reddit, and it shows the film has been split into two parts: Superhero Face Punch Part I: First Punch will come out on October 23, 2015 and Superhero Face Punch Part II: The Punchening will stick with the March 25, 2016 date.

(The real titles are Batman v. Superman Part I: Enter the Knight and Batman v. Superman Part II: Dawn of Justice, but those titles are so f*cking dumb I refuse to acknowledge them as output of human brains.)

This isn’t confirmed from Warner Brothers—yet—but I’m inclined to believe it because of that February trailer date. It’s on an actual industry document, not something created by hopeful fanboys, and while the exact date of trailer releases may shuffle, once it’s slated, it’s coming soon. Moreover, Warner Brothers is opening Jupiter Ascending in February, and the trailer date for Superhero Face Punch matches its release, suggesting it’ll be attached to Jupiter Ascending in theaters. Further, Superhero Face Punch was in production for damned near all of last year, and more than once I wondered what the f*ck they were shooting for so long, so having enough material for two movies does not surprise me.

But the #1 reason to go along with this—MONEY. Warner Bros DESPERATELY needs Superhero Face Punch to make a lot of money. They want it to make a billion dollars—they need it to. That’s why they were never going to risk taking on Marvel head-to-head, and that’s why ultimately they moved to March 2016, to give it all the time it needs to make bank before Captain America: Civil War comes along for its piece of the pie. Splitting the movie into two is a shameless ploy for more money.

I’ve never once seen this actually be worth it, no, not even Harry Potter justified the two-movie split. (Lainey: I disagree on this! Harry 7 & 8 were totally worth it!) It’s just a thing studios do because fans go along with it, like paying twice at full price to half the product each time is a good f*cking deal. And now we’re being served the three biggest heroes in comics—Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman—in half-spoon increments. People always ask why I’m not excited about this movie. It’s because Superhero Face Punch isn’t a movie. It’s a stock investment.

Attached - Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner running errands together in LA yesterday. 


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