Xenu Smut Articles

Celebrity news and Scientology, mostly featuring Tom Cruise and John Travolta

JT loves his hair

Lainey Posted by Lainey at October 8, 2013 13:50:01 October 8, 2013 13:50:01
Photos:
FameFlynet, Bauer

The original JT. Because in this business, Justin Timberlake can’t be the only one with those initials. Before he sang and danced, there was John Travolta who sang and danced. And now John Travolta is on the set of his new movie The Forger in Boston working a new head of thick hair. It’s streaked with grey, sure, but look at those waves, look at that texture. Full Story

View All 29 Photos
Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Dear Gossips,

As reported yesterday, on Monday’s episode of Dancing With The Stars, Leah Remini revealed that the Church Of Scientology was “looking for me to fail” on the show so that they could hahaha her in front of all their other members, like that would be the consequence of breaking up with Xenu.  Read Full Intro

If you hate Xenu, vote for Leah

Lainey Posted by Lainey at September 24, 2013 16:13:40 September 24, 2013 16:13:40
Photos:
Phamous/ Splash

I don’t watch Dancing With The Stars. I do know however that Leah Remini is one of the current season’s participants. Apparently, during the show this week, they aired an edit from her rehearsal and she tells her dance partner, obviously while the cameras are shooting, that: "I'm going through a personal and big change for me and my family. Full Story

View All 10 Photos

Watching Katie’s back

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 29, 2013 14:38:26 August 29, 2013 14:38:26
Photos:
Splash

Here’s Katie Holmes on the set of Miss Meadows yesterday in Cleveland. I am totally jacking these braids for TIFF. As you can see, Katie seems relaxed and happy at work, not at all bothered by the presence of the paps who’ve followed her to Ohio. In fact, the paps might actually be helping her out. Full Story

View All 9 Photos

Dance Dance Revolution

Maria Posted by Maria at August 29, 2013 14:25:37 August 29, 2013 14:25:37
Photos:
WENN

Some alternate titles I came up with for this post: Tangoing with Xenu, Don’t Step on Tom Cruise’s Toes and Will Shelly Miscavige Sit In The Front Row? Leah Remini is confirmed as a contestant on season 17 (how has it had 17 seasons?!) of Dancing With the Stars. I know, I know, not exactly must-watch TV BUT – it’s popular and family-friendly, both key components in a battle against Xenu. Full Story

Michael Pena loves Xenu?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 26, 2013 16:52:22 August 26, 2013 16:52:22
Photos:
Handout/ Getty

Xenu had a birthday party the other day. It was the 44th anniversary of the Celebrity Scientology Centre and most of the notables who haven’t been excommunicated where there including the usuals – John Travolta, Kelly Preston, Jenna Elfman, and …Michael Pena? Where the f-ck have I been? I love Michael Pena! Michael Pena loves Xenu? Michael Pena is in End Of Watch, one of my Top 10 movies of 2012 Full Story

View All 16 Photos

Lisa Marie breaks up with Xenu?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at February 19, 2013 23:04:48 February 19, 2013 23:04:48
Photos:
Jason Kempin/ Getty

DAME Magazine just tweeted at several entertainment outlets about a new article they’ve posted re: whether or not Lisa Marie Presley has broken up with the Church of Scientology. Speculation about Lisa Marie’s relationship to Xenu has been circulating for months. Full Story

Back to back Jacks and Xenu’s rap

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 11, 2012 16:14:48 December 11, 2012 16:14:48
Photos:
WENN

Here’s Tom Cruise at the London premiere of Jack Reacher last night wearing a lot of blush and bronzer. Contouring makes all the difference, you know? While Tom’s promoting his current release, a trailer for his next release, Oblivion, was released online yesterday. He plays another Jack. Full Story

View All 12 Photos

Katie, Nicole, and Rupert

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 2, 2012 16:12:40 July 2, 2012 16:12:40
Photos:
Stephen Lovekin/ Bryan Bedder/ Getty Images

I find it pretty rich that Rupert Murdoch, who could out-sinister Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, is attacking Scientology but whatever, that’s another conversation. Murdoch, who is very, very close with Nicole Kidman, which is why none of his tabloids ever sh-t on her, was tweeting Full Story

A Big NOT Sci party

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 13, 2010 08:31:51 July 13, 2010 08:31:51

Here’s what’s weird: Every night I scan the photo agencies so I can get a sense of what I might write about the next day. These photos were up right before I went to bed – Will Smith with Jada and the GMD and several other celebrities and the photo agency was calling it a “Scientology party”. Full Story

View All 16 Photos

Robo Mother of the Bride

Lainey Posted by Lainey at May 11, 2009 07:26:14 May 11, 2009 07:26:14

This is the problem: we’re misled these days that if we put our minds to it, “we can do anything”. Xenu says that through consistent and expensive auditing, “nothing is impossible”. Must be why Katie Holmes continues to believe she’s a f-cking clothing designer even though everything she’s made for herself sucks balls. Full Story