Assy Style Articles
Fashion faux pas, bad hair, and other no-nos.
Here’s Jessica Simpson yesterday spending time with a friend’s baby and also her Main Gay Ken Paves. Am not a fan of the maxi dress on regular sized, not tall girls. Not flattering. And something about the fact that your feet can’t be seen…it’s weird. On a red carpet, at a gala…fine. Full Story
All too familiar with her tacky ass dress designs… now is Tina Knowles designing weave too? This is Solange Knowles, B’s sister, last night on the carpet at the BET Awards. The hair…. What.The.Ass is up with that hair??? Why is everything so cheap? Why did she rip off shoes from an Asian rub’n’tug? Why are they still letting their mother dictate their style??? Photos from Splashnewsonline.com... Full Story
They say that we are too hard on celebrities… that once in a while, since we are allowed to look like schlubs, celebrities should be allowed to look like schlubs. That we should be more kind and forgiving when they walk around wearing ass. I agree… to a point. Because when we look like schlubs it’s because we’re usually walking the dog at 6 in the morning. Full Story
She must have been pulling an MK Olsen move at the Women in Film Crystal Lucy Awards in LA last night – Nicole Richie dressing for the esoteric and it’s not so much the Audubon inspired dress print but that the dress itself is not flattering…at all. Needless to say, it will also likely spark a new round of pregnancy speculation. Full Story
It’s all relative, of course. Heidi Klum’s worst is everyone else’s impossible best. But last night at the Peabody Awards was an example of how a beautiful woman can age herself horribly. And it was far from Heidi’s best. Not really sure what is it but she looks like there’d be vodka coursing through her veins and a raspy cigarette voice coming out of her mouth. Full Story
The Newroom is down the street from The Ivy on Robertson. If you’re eating on Robertson, you’re there for a reason: you want to be seen. It is an indisputable fact. Why hang out with the paps when there are so many other, and better!, places to eat in West Hollywood? So here’s Gerard Butler yesterday after lunch at the Newsroom, photographed by several outlets, perhaps because he’s finally achieved a slight improvement on the way he wears his pants. Full Story
Have you been to Niagara Falls? If you’ve been, you know that one of the most popular tourist attractions is the barrel photo - a picture taken of you inside a barrel perched in front of the falls made to look like you’re going down. There’s a hilarious one of my mother in the barrel from back in the 70s. Full Story
All the signs are there… Just before John Mayer broke up with Jessica Simpson, she was photographed wearing those infamous high waisted pants, a little bloated from drowning her pre-breakup heartache into much food and booze, incapable of thinking straight, let alone being able to dress herself properly. Full Story
Has it only been 6 weeks? INF caught Beyonce and Jay-Z last night in Cannes in a rare moment of affection before they spotted photographers and disentangled themselves. Love them but don’t understand why he lets her out of the house like that. Full Story
Fireworks on the Croisette tonight – real ones and Pitty Porn styles too. It’s one of my favourites about Cannes: the firework display at 10:30pm followed by a rousing chorus of horns from all the surround ships in the harbour. Gives me goosebumps every time. Just like Pitt Porn gives me quivers. Full Story
There was a time when Mischa Barton was considered a style girl. She and Nicole Richie had a funky friends together kinda thing going on that used to be pretty cute. Then again, I’m a Mischa apologist. I liked the weird moccasins, she did have a certain “it”. But lately? Longer than lately? Mischa has lost her mojo. Full Story
Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, yesterday in New York at the Christian Dior Cruise 2009 Collection private event. You’d think she of all people would be rocking a post-baby glow, non? Shockingly it’s been quite the opposite. Simply put, she looks like sh*t. The face is sh*t. Her hair is sh*t. Full Story
Paula Abdul showed up at Lisa Kline last night and… well… see for yourselves. Can you identify the species on her head? Photos from Wenn.com Full Story
Happens to a supermodel. It’s a testament to Christy’s undisputed gorgessity that her face remains unaffected. Because when most of us wear bad hair, everything else goes to sh*t too. But still… Not even Christy Turlington can pull off this half mullet. WTF??? This is Christy yesterday at the FilmAid International Power of Film Gala last night in New York with locks that belong on a head to toe denim-clad chainsmoking gravel voiced hick from a bumf&ck small town with missing teeth minding a corner store alongside a husband who might be her brother. Full Story
As gorgeous as she is, sometimes Kate Hudson just flies off the rails, you know what I mean? Check it out – Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey in London for the premiere of Fool’s Gold. I have no idea what the f&ck she’s wearing. It’s atrocious. And gawdy. And those two ropes hanging off her sleeves with the tassels… they remind me of China’s Empress Dowager Cixi – that old bat who you always associate with eunuchs. Full Story
Everyone’s boyfriend next door John Krasinski stopped by The Today Show this morning to promote Leatherheads opening today. There’s the trademark sheepish look – the one that makes us quiver. But …. I hate his hair. John can’t “do” his hair. His hair just won’t get “done”. Full Story
Here I go again on my ownGoin’ down the only road I’ve ever known Sigh… I miss the 80s. And I miss this video. Pure 80s rock video cheese. With Tawny Kitaen (isn’t that the best name ever???!!??) writhing on top of a jaguar… they just don’t make videos like that anymore, you know? Or perhaps they do. Full Story
A one time member of the Freebie Five, Simon Pegg was on hand last night at the premiere of Run Fatboy Run, costarring Thandie Newton and directed by David Schwimmer. Yes, that David Schwimmer. The man who played limp Ross. Limp Ross who was inconceivably written as Rachel Green’s lobster… which to me has always been a television mystery. Full Story
The wash isn’t great. Far from great. And they’re still far from ideal too. But it’s an improvement. A small improvement but nevertheless an improvement. Jake is trying to properly wear his pants. This is a good thing. Check him out yesterday after a meeting, hot as ever, though still trouser challenged. Full Story
Because If he had friends, true friends, they would tell him straight up – dude, don’t fight it man. Just go bald. Clearly Brendan has no friends. And he no longer has a wife either. Maybe that’s why he’s trying to save his manhood by faking his hair. Or maybe this is what prompted her to leave. Full Story
