Lainey Books
Welcome to the newest section on Lainey Gossip! Please note that this area is still under construction!
F-ck these first book bitches!
Like Zadie Smith, Nigel Shriver, Diana Evans, and Aryn Kyle before her, Sadie Jones has delivered a debut that makes a jealous bitch like me cry out at the unfairness of it. SO unfair. Why couldn’t they have started slowly, with one or two mediocre efforts, before properly harnessing their talents? Why make everyone else feel so inadequate? And they’re so young. Full Review
Speaking of deranged – Twihards are foaming at the mouth today in defence of their Supreme Leader Stephenie Meyer after Stephen King said she sucks. Heh.
King was addressing the Meyer comparisons to JK Rowling (blasphemy!) and explained that Meyer’s success is due to the fact that 12 year old girls and loser fanmoms can’t distinguish between good writing and wanting to kiss a boy:
"People are attracted by the stories, by the pace and in the case of Stephenie Meyer, it's very clear that she's writing to a whole generation of girls and opening up kind of a safe joining of love and sex in those books. Full Review
L's Rating:
My parents were immigrants. Their Western musical knowledge when they arrived in Canada was limited to the Beatles, Doris Day, and Elvis. Eventually my dad discovered Simon & Garfunkel and he karaoked Bridge Over Troubled Water (don’t you laugh!) at my wedding. So I did not grow up in a house with a vast library stocked with the classic albums, with the rock gods, the R&B pioneers, the jazz greats. Full Review
Did you know that Alfred Kinsey once shoved a toothbrush inside his pee hole while investigating erogenous zones? I relayed this to my husband one night and he actually went to put on his jock strap.
How about the fact that the final spurt from a man’s ejaculate is actually organic spermicide – nature’s way of ensuring some other dude doesn’t come along five minutes later to usurp his eggs?
Meaning that Ebola Paris Hilton’s vaginal cavity is the single largest storage of natural spermicide on the planet…
Roach is the funniest. Full Review
RENESMEE?
RENESMEE???????????
Ugh.
Ugh.
And because two ughs are not enough, here’s one more:
Ugh.
Breaking Dawn, the fourth and final book in the Twilight series, was released last Friday night. If you’ve yet to read it, please note there will be spoilers here.
To revisit the previous article on the first 3 segments click here. Full Review
Dog Whisperer Book Giveaway!
It’s the Ultimate Episode Guide to Cesar’s show indexed according to breed and behavioural problem. Thanks to the Dog Whisperer, my husband now thinks he’s like the Polish Cesar Milan. Even though our dog is still an asshole. His excuse is that Marcus has no respect for me. Full Review
L's Rating:
I had heard mid-summer about six weeks before its Canadian release date that Alice Kuipers’ novel was the buzz of the season among the “literati”. Word is there was a bidding war, word is international publishers and editors were losing their shit and very keen to acquire the rights. Full Review
I was both a keener and a slacker in high school – a keener til the end of grade 10 and then a slacker the rest of the way. And while I have many regrets in adulthood about letting certain things slip away, wish I’d “applied” myself more dutifully, at the same time I also remember that at the time, at that age, though stupid, I was also blissfully stress-free academics/career-wise – i thought we were all stupidly oblivious then – which, of course, is something to be thankful for. Full Review
The cover is total cheese… I would never have picked this book if it hadn’t been sent to me. But that is the best part – The God of Animals was totally unexpected and then it became a wonderful gift as soon as the jealousy abated. Because Aryn Kyle is not even 30. Which means she probably wrote this when she was 25. Full Review
Was it an amazing experience? Did I read through the night and again the next day and certain chapters every day since? Was it frightening? And exhilarating? Were there several Joey Tribiani moments when the book was shoved into the freezer to calm the nerves?
Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes.
Of course it was incredible. Full Review
