What Else?

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 1, 2017 21:27:36 June 1, 2017 21:27:36

In these times, there is one celebrity who has dominated the news cycle. And he’s not making movies and he’s not dating actresses (gross, sorry) and he doesn’t live in Hollywood. But he is on TV every single day. And he gets mentioned on TV every single day – not only on the news but in drama series and comedy series and late night comedy shows. What I’m trying to say is that the Taylor Swift-Katy Perry Perry feud is one of the few things that we have. DO NOT TAKE THIS FROM US. Can’t you just let us have this one great thing? (Dlisted) 

A gigantic green hat on Duchess Camilla. I mean it’s ludicrous. And I’m more offended by it than the one Princess Beatrice wore to William and Kate’s wedding (relax, I know it was a fascinator and not a real “hat”). Actually I quite liked Princess Beatrice’s specifically because no matter how old you are, you will always know what I’m talking about when I say “Beatrice + head gear”. That’s the point. She did not go home. Camilla though and all this greenness…well…if you’ve been reading my site a long time you know what the Chinese say about people who wear green hats. And I know what some people would say about Camilla wearing a green hat, all things and history considered. (Cele|bitchy) 

There are green hats and there are blue hats and this blue hat on Juliette Lewis is the opposite of Camilla’s green hat. I love this blue hat. Because it goes not only with her starry pants but with HER, like the whole of her, Juliette Lewis. Katie Holmes in this outfit would be a very loud, very screechy WHAT THE F-CK? On Juliette Lewis it’s like, oh, yeah, exactly. (Go Fug Yourself)

Here’s the thing about Johnny Depp and all the money that he’s alleging was stolen from him. It’s millions and millions of dollars. And now there are even more millions to add to the pile of missing millions. You know how you might freak out when a twenty goes missing and it’ll ruin your day because, like, f-ck, that was a perfectly good twenty dollar bill and now I can’t find it and I could have bought lunch and it stings, right? It stings. The other day I pulled a fiver out of my jacket pocket because I was actually reaching for some dog sh-t bags and it slipped out of my hand and flew away on a gust of wind and I couldn’t catch up to it because my dog was taking a dump. And I was furious about losing that fiver because I was saving it to pop into the corner store at the end of the walk to get some butter that I needed to cook my dinner which meant that I had to think of something else entirely to eat. My point is that Johnny Depp has lost a LOT more than $5. And I’m not sure he’s had to change his dinner plans. (TMZ) 

Not to be a dick but OK, I’m a dick, and I’m wondering whether or not Lily-Rose Depp is pissed about all that money that her dad doesn’t have anymore. What? Right. OF COURSE you’re not supposed to think about your parents’ money, you’re supposed to make your own money! Tell that to Tori Spelling. Johnny Depp, however, is not Candy Spelling. So, no worries, Lily-Rose will be fine. She’s also 18 now. And it happens so fast. This reminds me of a story that was going around when Johnny was shooting the first Pirates movie and guess what? He was late to set on that shoot too. When he finally got to work, he apologised for being late but told the crew that, “My daughter wanted to play”, or something to that effect. And at the time, because we didn’t know Johnny the way we know him now, everyone was all like, awwwwww, what a sweet man! But should you keep your colleagues waiting to play with your kids? Serious question. (Celeb Dirty Laundry) 

I made Jacek do this quiz with me this morning. To no one’s surprise, I scored better than he did. Which means I know him better than he knows me. He did not find this acceptable so he made me walk through all the questions with him. We didn’t have to get past the first one. Because his answer to what my favourite basic colour is was RED. All the times on this blog that I’ve bitched about red dresses and red shoes and how they’re not my jam, he decides to tell me that after 15 years of marriage, my favourite colour is red. Just a warning – it happened to me and it might happen to you. (Buzzfeed) 

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