Dumbass Articles
Are you crusty today? Post holiday blues? If so, my Gwyneth is about to piss you off. Be warned. Or maybe that’s a good thing. You know you love to hate her. So she’s released her first GOOPy newsletter of the year – this time about detoxing. And she opens by telling you that she, Gwyneth Paltrow, with her own personal gym and dance studio, with her own personal trainer, with 2 hours a day dedicated to working out got fat over Christmas and needs to work on purging the Christmas weight. Full Story
Denise Richards and Lance Bass co-hosted a party at Prive Planet Hollywood in Vegas. Like, who would hire Denise Richards? And… who would actually GO to an event hosted by Denise Richards??? I would rather grab takeout at McDonalds – quarter with cheese, supersized fries, AND a filet fish to wash it all down – in my jammies, with greasy hair and a face full of pimples, and wine dispensed from a spout on a box than waste a good dress and an even better pair of shoes ringing in the new year with Denise Richards. Full Story
In June People Magazine named Mario Lopez its Hottest Bachelor. So much to choose from and … Mario Lopez? Him? Ew! Of course he milked every last drop out of that shit, even posing with his own centrefold for the paps. He also recreated Brad Pitt’s infamous scene from Thelma & Louise. Full Story
The secret behind those enigmatic half smile/half grimaces? We found out this year … It’s prunes! “Every time they pose and smile, they say the word ‘prune’.” Who knew? That prunes are good for more than just poo? Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen figured it out – this is why they’re always so puckered. Full Story
The UK Sun is reporting that Eddie Murphy is confirmed to play The Riddler in the next Batman movie helmed by Christopher Nolan even though Nolan himself recently said that he’s yet to even see a script. Full Story
Ausiello is reporting that along with Jack Black, The Office has secured Jessica Alba for an appearance on the episode of The Office that will air immediately following the Super Bowl. The Alba Demon is coming back to TV! Where she belongs! Great move by her agent. Full Story
Scarjo attended the 2008 Nobel Peace Prize concert press conference today in Oslo alongside Michael Caine and, in keeping with her recent wifely trend, looked demure and serious and, as always, totally gorgeous. She’s only 2 years older than Lindsay Lohan. Still I can’t imagine Lindsay Lohan like Scarlett Johansson in two years. Full Story
Shenae Grimes returned home to Canada last week for the Gemini Awards and reportedly acted like a massive twat towards the local media, apparently insisting that they were beneath her newly acquired and imagined elevated stature. Full Story
The UK Daily Mirror is claiming an exclusive with Jennifer Aniston. Take with a grain of salt but let’s run with it for now… Because the profundity of her profoundness is just too good to ignore. Apparently she talks about John Mayer. No. Actually… She gushes about John Mayer. "He's a rare one. Full Story
Ryan Porter from msn.ca is reporting that Shenae Grimes is a first class b-tch... Full Story
As I mentioned earlier in the Kristen Stewart post, am told that Lindsay Lohan was supposedly quite desperate for the Joan Jett part that Kristen has just confirmed. In other words, still no roles for Lilo. Which means more paid parties with Samantha Ronson. The two went shopping the other day at Dior, then this morning, Lilo was spotted at LAX, presumably catching a flight to Toronto where Sam is booked to DJ at The Courthouse tonight. Full Story
In what universe is Frank Langella more fascinating than Tina Fey??? Who? Frank Langella. Who? Exactly. With all due respect, as he is a fine actor, Frank’s predicted Oscar “win” for Frost/Nixon is nothing if not premature. And, let’s be honest, he has that “bad man” face. Full Story
Thank you for all of your emails re: Shenae Grimes at the Gemini Awards, all of you with remarks similar to the following: From Thomas T: Did you happen to see Shenae Grimes appearance at the Geminis? The poor girl definitely appeared to be more wired than a renovation done by Mike Holmes. She was practically vibrating. Full Story
If you only do one thing today, make it this. I wrote yesterday about Diddy’s ridiculous new ad for his ridiculous new men’s fragrance I Am Fail. Turns out he directed a movie that accompanies the poster as part of the campaign which is so appalling and yet so amazing it’s like Airplane: every time you watch it, there’s something else to laugh at. Full Story
This is Diddy in a new ad for his new fragrance I Am King that will be plastered in Times Square. I Am King? No! You Are Douche. You Are SUCK. Oh, and it gets worse. Much worse. When describing the ad, Diddy offered these enlightening words: "When you see Barack Obama, you see a strong, elegant black man and when people see my ad, it's almost like that's the trend. Full Story
I haven’t watched Grey’s Anatomy since they killed off the lesbian story to kowtow to the MiniVan Majority. Clearly I’m in the minority. And the MiniVan always wins, continuing the recent trend and perpetuating what’s becoming the truth: Good taste is dead. But bad taste makes more money. Full Story
Katherine Heigl is the Princess. And who is her Prince? Prince. Or the artist formerly known as… or whatever we’re supposed to be calling himself these days. Up until 2 hours ago, I adored him. Would have gone to bed with him. And then, this new interview... Full Story
It must be, right? Only way to explain why so many of them are marrying. And SO young too. Dating, you see, is apparently dead.Hello, I love you, let’s get married… This is the modern relationship. Next in line for engagement, marriage, then divorce is Kelly Osbourne. She’s been dating a model called Luke Worrall for 6 months and photographed with an engagement ring on her finger. Full Story
What does Victoria Beckham want more than anything in life? More than anything, Victoria Beckham wants, needs, dreams of, salivates over, is begging for a US Vogue cover. And that amazing bitch Anna Wintour won’t give her one. So can you imagine what Posh must be thinking? Today of all days when she sees the magazine’s December cover featuring a less than ideal looking Jennifer Aniston? The sun is catching up to the face, non? Poor Posh is probably punishing herself over this. Full Story
It’s Lilo on Access Hollywood with Maria Menounos promoting her leggings line and talking about the election…because it’s so important what Lindsay Lohan thinks about the election? Well… Actually… Many people are convinced that in this clip she calls Obama the first “coloured” president. Full Story
