What is the Freebie Five?
A concept inspired by Friends which I’ve called the Freebie Five - a list of 5 'unattainables'
you’d have permission to tap without consequence from your significant other should
the opportunity arise. The key to the Freebie Five is fantasy, whatever turns your
crank. My criteria, however, is also determined by celebrity. Two bit no-names,
no matter how hot they are, don’t rank. Because while intelligence is optional,
fame never is.
Note also that the Freebie Five is NOT about a relationship. The Freebie Five is
all about ONE night. Or two nights. In bed. Conversation optional but not required.
Which is why Johnny Depp is not on my Freebie Five. Johnny Depp, you see, is a Lifetime.
So don’t question David Beckham. I am aware that he can’t think on Mondays, Tuesdays,
Wednesdays, and Sundays. And I am also well aware of what he sounds like. But he
doesn’t have to talk to me when he’s rockin’ me…you know what I mean?
Current list below – it changes often so keep up.
I don’t know why this needs justification and so I’m not wasting my time on a long one.
Because Becks is the Hotness. Because Becks is one of the few men on the planet who can get away with almost everything. Hair, clothes, wife, rat lizard voice… all of it a free pass by virtue of the face and body and the football thunder thighs. I like ‘em lanky up top with some steel strength down below. And if you tell me you wouldn’t want to be in the middle of that squeeze… I won’t believe you.
PS. Daddy Becks? Unparalleled quiveration.
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Plays Tim Riggins on Friday Night LIghts. Canadian. See attached. Don"t pretend you"re not quivering. Please.
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