Eunuch sex and lost wolves

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 24, 2017 14:28:18 July 24, 2017 14:28:18

As I’ve mentioned many times over the years, I love gross sh-t. It’s a friendship bond between me and Duana. We often send back and forth the nastiest pictures of bodily grossness to each other. It was like Christmas when she discovered Figure 1 a few years ago. And, of course, we live for Dr Pimple Popper, Sandra Lee. We would buy tickets if Dr Pimple Popper decided to perform live pimple popping on stage at Madison Square Garden. This needs to happen and why isn’t someone ON IT already?

Dr Pimple Popper made an appearance last night on Game Of Thrones, taking the form of Duana’s beloved Samwell Tarly who has decided that he will cure Jorah Mormont’s greyscale. I really wish he wouldn’t. Because I hate Jorah f-cking Mormont the f-cking perv and because they cut away to that scene instead of letting us see more of Grey Worm going down on Missandei. Grey Worm, evidently, does not know nothing. But don’t you want to know about Grey Worm’s “situation” over whether or not Jorah lives or dies? F-ck him.

That said, at least we got some pus out of it.

Sam went from picking up sh-t to squeezing the sh-t out of Jorah’s skin. In my ideal world, we’d get several more shots of that before Jorah drops dead. Unfortunately, since Sam’s so committed to saving him, they’re obviously going to become best friends and head out on a road trip together to save the universe.

Arya, meanwhile, is heading home. But not before reuniting, and then breaking up again, with Nymeria. As we know, the Stark children share a supernatural bond with their direwolves, their destinies often linked. Arya’s been on her own for years, just like Nymeria. Arya is a loner now. And so the fact that Nymeria did not want to go “home” with Arya perhaps is a sort of foreshadowing? Arya may be headed “home” but “a girl” gave up her “home” a long time ago. Home, right now, for Arya is revenge. Perhaps Nymeria sensed that in her too and knows that Arya is not ready yet for attachment, and may very well never be.

Home, after all, is a recurring theme on Game Of Thrones, and especially in this episode. Jon Snow came home but is leaving again – as a bastard, what real home has he ever really had? Sansa is now the Queen of her home, the North, by proxy, but how well can she protect her home, and what kind of sinister influences (Littlefinger, the R Kelly of Westeros) will she tolerate in retaining it? Daenerys has finally returned home to Dragonstone but she said herself that she can’t wait to get away from it and all the darkness unleashed by those who perpetrated evil from the home that is her ancestral birthright. Home for Tyrion Lannister is Casterly Rock, never a comfort to him but the source of all his heartbreak. Tyrion wants to destroy the home that tormented him but, as we’ve seen on this show, no one can run from their past, or even kill it – not without reckoning with it first. Tyrion will eventually have to reckon with both the home that is Casterly Rock and the home that is represented by his siblings.

Finally, home has always been Theon Greyjoy’s issue. He was sent away from home as a child to live with the Starks. He was never quite at home in his adopted home and he was also regarded as less-than at his true home in the Iron Islands. Unlike Jon Snow, Theon could never get past his outsider resentment to find real brotherhood. His lack of home is the reason why he lacks loyalty. It’s why he’s so useless. It’s what makes him so tragic. But not everyone can be a hero all of the time. Sometimes, though, being a hero just once is when it counts the most. There is no way they’d be investing so much time in Theon if they weren’t leading him towards some kind of home. What that home looks like for him remains to be seen. 

Next week, when Harry Potter meets Rey.

Kevin Winter/ FilmMagic/ Albert L. Ortega/ Getty Images

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