Jessica Alba Gossip
They were just in Boston, then it was off to Italy, somehow those clever paps were able to find them in Rome, and they were photographed today seeing the sights with what looks like a tour guide and a bodyguard. Pretty pictures, non? Perfect for Shelfy’s growing paparazzi personal album. And why not? She is killer in those jeans. Full Story
The Alba Demon is in New York for fashion week. Little Honor has come along with her. Mom and baby went for a walk yesterday and Jessica picked her up to give the paps a few shots. As you can you see from this series of photos, Alba’s many faces are properly on display, including the one for which she is most famous: looking like a c-bomb about to cuss a bitch out. Full Story
What Jessica Alba has said in the past: Alba is my last name and I'm proud of that. But that's it. My grandparents were born in California, the same as my parents, and though I may be proud of my last name, I'm American. Full Story
OK! Magazine paid $1.5 for the first exclusive rights to the Alba Bitch’s baby and follow up photos later on. So here’s Jessica with Honor on the cover of the new issue. No offence to all you moms out there but really, this baby obsession is out of control. Full Story
The MiniVan Majority loves babies! The world loves babies! And thanks to the new power of the Yummy Mummy movement, getting pregnant has become the go-to career move in Hollywood, yielding the easiest paycheque ever. Pose with your newborn! Earn a million dollars! Or $3 million if you’re Matthew McConaughey. Full Story
Thanks to Lisa D for sending this along – the Alba bitch’s birth announcement in a local newspaper. Best. Typo. Ever. Full Story
Mark Wahlberg last night in New York for the premiere of The Happening. It was announced earlier this week that Marky and his baby mother were expecting their third child. He also called Rhea Durham his “future wife”... Full Story
It’s just one of many reasons why I’ve boarded up my womb and am guarding it with a pit bull… labour seems downright f&cking medieval. The pain I mean. So the Alba Bitch and her husband had their baby girl this weekend at Cedars-Sinai... Full Story
When Laura and I heard last night that the Alba Bitch had quietly married Cash Warren in advance of the birth of their baby, our first reaction was: She was ok with getting married not thin as a rail? All part and parcel of course of Jessica Alba`s continuing efforts to find a fan base… any fan base… that doesn’t only care to see her naked. Full Story
Do you think it takes the Alba Bitch to smile? And to hide her crusty ass from the children? Under these circumstances, at the Kids’ Choice Awards, she must be grinding her teeth to the point of a migraine. Bet your boob job Cash Warren received a tongue lashing that night. For overflow. Like using a breast bump. Full Story
As Marchesa goes, I guess it isn’t the worst. And the colour is gorgeous. And she is gorgeous in it. Here’s the pregnant Alba Demon, glowing tonight on the carpet. LOVE the braids. Not so much tied back into that big nest by her neck but the middle part feels soothing. Like it somehow tempers that bitch inside of her that desperately needs to yell at someone at least once an hour. Full Story
As mentioned yesterday, the hottest party in town this week is at Soho House Grey Goose Club - a few photos of celebrity guests last night are attached. First the gorgeous America Ferrara no makeup and SOOOOO pretty! Am so jealous about that hair. Next…the Alba Bitch and her growing bump glowing in her expectant state and showing off an expanding chest. Full Story
Dear Gossips,
“I’ve never been the one to emphasise anything on my looks…”
Said Jessica Alba to Matt Lauer on The Today Show while promoting The Eye, her new sh*t movie. Never one to trade on what she looks like… oh really?
Just a few Alba GQ photos attached below. You will note, she was not forced at gunpoint to participate in these shoots. In fact, judging from this video it actually looks like she was good and willing. But then again, GQ only features “thespians” on its cover, right?
Bitch… please!!!
It’s Tuesday, will be online all day, check back often.
Yours in gossip,
Lainey
PS. To Alina: Happy 25th Birthday… Love, Agnes
PPS. And to Lara S from Paul her fiancé and getting married in May. Happy Birthday and congratulations!
Oscar nominations are to be announced tomorrow but today, everyone is talking about the Razzie Awards – the assiest pictures and performances of the year. While much focus has been paid to Lilo’s sh*tty turn in I Know Who Killed Me which topped the list with 9 nods, most people seem to be skipping right over the Alba Bitch who was singled out for sucking in NOT ONE, NOT TWO, but THREE movies this year. Full Story
Perhaps there is something to all those rumours that Posh and Katie’s BFF-ship has cooled. Because it appears the pupil is no longer the pupil and KatE has elevated her style game. First at the Critics’ Choice Awards, then the other night on the Mad Money Carpet, and yesterday at a party – my favourite KatE of the week – in a black dress beautifully fitted but look at those killer booties! Look at that heel! Even the hair is starting to grow on me… And this is why Katie is the GMD’s #1 asset – beyond real estate, beyond bonds and stocks, his wife is the crown jewel on his unsteady throne. Full Story
What happens to a Demon Bitch when the hormones are raging? In Alba’s case, the bitch get bigger! Jessica Alba’s Elle Magazine interview – she called out Zac Efron the other day for being effeminate and it turns the out the new fairy It Boy of Hollywood wasn’t the only recipient of her wrath. Full Story
She’s pregnant and she’s been crustier than hell but on this point, we are in total agreement. It’s Jessica Alba on Zac Efron as told to Elle Magazine: "He looks like a child with a lot of makeup. I was like, ‘My God, you’re just a little kid.'" Yes! Yes! Yes! But I imagine I’ve now totally become my parents. Full Story
In all fairness, it’s been a kinder, gentler Jessica Alba of late. This is a girl who, once upon a time, stormed up and down Robson Street in Vancouver terrorising retailers, allowing her dog to piss and sh*t anywhere it wanted without cleaning up her own mess. My favourite Alba Bitch story though is from the set of Good Luck Chuck – she had finished shooting a scene and was sitting on a chair as a crew member walked by at which point she looked at him, lifted her leg and said: You can take my boots off now. Full Story
She can barely hold a scene in a movie, let alone centre stage on The Great White Way? The argument of course would be that if Madonna can do it… But Madonna, in spite of the atrocious acting, can COMMAND a stage. Can Jessica Alba command a stage? Seriously… But still, she tries. She tries valiantly to rise above TV girl eternity. Full Story
Ugh. Dear Alba Bitch, We get it. Your beauty is a curse. You don’t want to be known for your body. Because you are an actor. No, honey. Julianne Moore is an actor. You, sweetheart, are simply a pretty face. And a first class bitch, no matter how hard Harvey Weinstein has been talking you up. And no one will see Awake if you’re not getting naked. Full Story
