Jessica Biel Gossip
Shelf Ass Jessica Biel photographed at the airport headed to NYC after a lengthy delay. Wonder if she’ll be demanding that Pip start flying her in private planes from now on? Because her clever publicist, who has been able to build Shelfy’s career on the sole basis of choreographed candid photos of her impressive posterior, probably didn’t plan this. Full Story
Shelf Ass Jessica Biel somehow conned her way into a starring role opposite Jake Gyllenhaal in Nailed, the first screenplay co-penned by Kristin Gore. No wonder she’s so happily smug…although my sources say, she needs to be careful. Jakey, you see, is not a fan of her antics. Specifically her paparazzi antics. Full Story
Some important person in Hollywood was married Saturday night and the wedding brought out some young heavy hitters including an Olsen, a Speedman, a Pipqueak, and a Shelf Ass. Here are Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel on their way out of the reception. As you can see from Shelfy’s smug ass expression, someone is very, very, very happy to be greeted by the paps. Full Story
This is single Cameron Diaz on the cover of May GQ. This is ridiculous. Cam’s body is ridiculous. Cameron tells the magazine that she’s been "boy crazy" for a year. That she is choosing not to be in a relationship because that’s where she is right now, preferring to enjoy instead a brief hook up now and again with the likes of John Mayer, Bradley Cooper, and – ugh – Criss Angel. Full Story
Seriously. There is actually a publicist/PR coach who is cleverer than Jessica Biel’s. And Jessica Biel’s publicist is a fecking genius. After all, that girl has gone from average looking borderline herm tv girl with a shelf ass to a wannabe movie actress dating a Pipsqueak. It’s like the showbiz equivalent of a hole-in-one, you know? The most challenging achievement in the world. Full Story
Much better as a brunette. Here’s Jessica Biel, walking her dog, showing off her newly re-darkened natural locks after posing as a blonde for Easy Virtue. Check her out trying to “turn away” from the cameras… Ummm. Shelfy? Sit DOWN! As if she didn’t want to be photographed, like, one day after getting her hair coloured. Full Story
Shelfy Biel is back in LA after spending weeks in England fouling up a new movie version of Easy Virtue. Here she is, back to her old tricks, walking her one remaining dog in Brentwood. There was an interesting item in the last issue of Us Weekly after recent rampant speculation about Pip Timberlake and Kate Hudson hooking up. Full Story
The benefits that come with dating George Clooney make up a long, long list. Not even sure if there is a downside to dating George. Especially not if you’re Sarah Larson, who was once a glorified gambling escort in Vegas, with a rather tawdry past, and who now has a front row seat at the Oscars on the arm of Hollywood’s reigning monarch. Full Story
Jennifer Connelly in Vancouver running along the seawall – she does this often – on Sunday in town shooting The Day the Earth Stood Still with Keanu Reeves and Will Smith’s son Jaden. This of course is why Will and Jada have been in town. Will is regularly seen in Jaden’s trailer. Full Story
Isla Fisher shooting in NYC yesterday on the set of Confessions of a Shopaholic – like The Devil Wears Prada, no doubt the movie will be far superior to the book, especially with Isla in the lead. Love Isla. Loved Isla in Definitely, Maybe. Have you seen yet? They always talk about that “It”. Full Story
He wasn’t there in person, but he was certainly there in spirit. Otherwise, how do you explain Shelf Ass’s invitation??? Here she is – the very blonde Jessica Biel at a pre-BAFTA party the night before and at the BAFTAs proper Sunday night, somehow invited to attend thanks to the tightness of her ass and, more importantly, to her boyfriend, without whom she certainly couldn’t buy her way onto this carpet. Full Story
Sweet Xenu… is there no such thing as an audition anymore??? That Justin Timberlake is an accomplished and talented musician is undisputed. Because although Pipsqueak’s balls may not have dropped, he can certainly sing. And dance. And write. And produce. All at the same time. But an actor he is not. Full Story
Pip isn’t on the cover of Vanity Fair…in person, that is. But he is very much on the cover in spirit. In fact, you can practically hear him singing on the cover in spirit. Because Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake is the ONLY reason why Shelf Ass Jessica Biel has somehow schemed her way onto the list of 10 Fresh Faces of 2008. Full Story
Shocker! While Jessica Biel and her Shelf Ass have been in England massacring a movie with her bad accent, her Pipsqueak beau has been left to his own devices and seen partying solo and fighting temptation in LA. Rumours surfaced today from New York that he was spotted at Tenjune making out with a sizzling brunette. Full Story
Famed photographer Annie Leibovitz shot a series of portraits for Disney using celebrities as famous Disney characters. Totally cheesy, but kinda in a good way. Take La Lopez and Marc Anthony for example as Princess Jasmine and her man with Whoopi as Aladdin. So cheese. So love. And then there’s Shelf Ass Jessica Biel who does a piss poor Pocahontas. Full Story
Charlize Theron showed up at Sundance with Stuart Townsend to promote her new project Sleepwalking which she produced. Charlize plays a woman who gives up her children to foster care. It is not a biography of Britney Spears. Not feeling her hairstyle… you? As you can see, Charlize is all smiles and unusually spirited…especially considering the cameras are around. Full Story
Favourite, favourite smutty story of the day!!! So Shelf Ass Jessica Biel has been in England ruining a new movie. Her Pippy boyfriend meanwhile is hanging back in LA – the other night he hit up Villa and arrived within minutes of Kate Hudson and left within minutes of her too! As you would expect, the rumour mongering is started to swell, especially since the two reportedly shared one night of naughtiness right after he split from Cammie D. Full Story
Edward Norton’s The Illusionist could have been a much stronger feature if not for its poor choice in leading lady. Face it –Jessica Biel is not Keira Knightley, or Natalie Portman, or Kirsten Dunst. And she cannot pull off those “period piece” looks…to say nothing of that atrocious accent. Full Story
JT showed up at Villa at the weekend without his Shelf Ass who is said to be shooting a new movie in England. Wonder if his partying solo will make Shelfy insecure? No doubt she’ll be back in LA for a new convenient photo op as soon as she can. In the meantime, am all over Pip’s new straighter, flat to the head hairstyle. Full Story
Not sweet. Not at all. Here’s Jessica Biel in London, reportedly starting work on a new film for which she appears to have gone blonde. As an ignorant Asian, I once enviously believed that all white people would look decent blonde. Clearly not the case. Jess better make sure her Shelf Ass is in tip top shape when Pippy comes to visit. Full Story
