Don’t go back to the Wall

Sarah Posted by Sarah at June 21, 2017 19:33:15 June 21, 2017 19:33:15

For the first day of summer, a look into winter. A new trailer for the seventh season of Game of Thrones has been released, and at this point, I’m just ready for this sh*t to start. You could show me two and a half minutes of a dog peeing and slap Game of Thrones at the end of the video and I’d be like, Yes, on board, totally. (It occurs to me that this is basically what HBO did with that block of melting ice earlier this year.)

The new trailer has Littlefinger narrating menacingly about fighting “everyone, all the time, in your MIND” while Sansa stalks around the Godwood looking shifty as f*ck. It’s pretty obvious but have we ever talked about how Littlefinger is very obviously cracked? Like he’s completely lost his marbles. He sounds insane, but this is also maybe where Sansa is weak? It looks like Jon Snow really does leave Sansa in charge at Winterfell while he does his mating dance with the White Walkers, but while Littlefinger is counselling a paranoid plan of multi-directional psychological warfare, Jon Snow is trying to ally with someone. Daenerys, maybe?

Jon Snow is boring and the Wall f*cking SUCKS—I groaned out loud at the shot of it in the trailer, the Wall is the worst, don’t go back to the Wall—but if Jon is going to go out and get him some f*cking dragon assistance, I’m really into it. He could be talking to anyone, but really, don’t we all know the Last Targaryen and the Secret Targaryen are on a collision course? And there are shots of a dragon attack, and Drogon getting up close and personal with someone, so it seems like a Snow-Targaryen alliance is in the offing, at least to take care of the Lannisters.

There is also quite a bit of the White Walkers and the Night’s King. This is what I’m really waiting for, for everyone to get on f*cking board with the imminent arrival of the horde of goddamned ice zombies. Everyone’s way too casual about the ice zombies, and all the squabbling over the Iron Throne is pointless if the ice zombies overrun Westeros. But we have to get through the human fighting first, and to that end, Jamie’s on the battlefield and everything is one fire. We’re down to the last thirteen hours of Thrones. It’s time to start settling some scores. And then it’s going to be time to start fighting ice zombies.

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