Paris Hilton Gossip
Prince played Coachella this weekend…how f&cking amazing is that??? The man is pure sex and talent. Love, love, love. Unfortunately his royal presence was contaminated by the arrival of that diseased skank Ebola Paris Hilton who showed up hand in hand with Benji Madden. And because Ebola’s infection has been spread far and wide, awkward avoidance was apparently the name of the game as Jared Leto was at Coachella too and the last time he saw her, he ended up putting his tongue in her mouth and killing his career forever... Full Story
Not that this will surprise you but just in case. You know that show she’s doing? The search for Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton’s new BFF? Well it’s not really real people who are being auditioned but actors. Real actors. Real actors on both coasts have been called to expose themselves to her infection to pretend to want to be friends with that filthy whore virus. Full Story
Am sure you’ve all seen it – this clip of a rhythmically impaired Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton trying to belly dance on Turkish television – as is the case whenever she attempts to groove, Paris is found to be seriously lacking. Full Story
So Benji Madden and Ebola are now supposedly an item. This less than two weeks after he broke off his engagement with Sophie Monk. The much better looking Sophie Monk. And for those who say looks aren’t everything – are you going to tell me that diseased virus Paris Hilton has a better personality than Sophie Monk? Really??? But clearly… clearly this makes more sense. Full Story
This is what happens when your mother is more interested in pimping you than she is in raising you. Not only do you become a drug addict, so used and loose at only 21 that even the p*ssy posse wants nothing to do with you wants nothing to do with you... Full Story
Nicole Richie went shopping yesterday for party – Joel is turning 29. Note the pretty “H” necklace she’s wearing… love the name Harlow. Also like Winter. And love love love her angel wing headscarf. Did you know that pictures of Nicole fetch more than Ebola? Word is Paris was initially not pleased when she learned of this but then decided to use the disparity to her advantage in a photo opp of her own. Full Story
You like that show? My Name is Earl? If so, look out. Because it’s about to become a lot more diseased. Just confirmed – Hollywood Ebola will play herself in the season return in April. Perhaps the writers will be clever and subversively nail her ass to the wall like she deserves. Perhaps she’ll be too dumb to understand the true intent behind the script. Full Story
Not that there was any doubt but there are always one or two random losers… one or two who probably believed yesterday that Ebola’s little public excursion at the weekend with a shaman represented a genuine metamorphosis from virus to redeemable human. Wrong. Paris Hilton will always be a disease. Full Story
She infected her own movie – only 20 people went to see it. And everything else has permanently stalled. As such, Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton is grasping at straws, desperately resorting to the lamest cockamamie schemes for attention. Last week, after dating for an hour, she and Benji Madden professed their sudden, undying love. Full Story
Tara Reid hit up Villa last night – how on earth did she get in??? How on earth did she get in with that face? As you can see, Tara’s Stroke Face is droopier than ever. Doesn’t hurt that she’s been on a bender since well before Chinese New Year – from London to LA, this is the life when you can’t get work. Full Story
Dear Gossips,
Up until recently, for me it’s always been Ellen > Oprah. Always. But at the very, very least, the Mighty Opes doesn’t invite Ebola on to her stage and expose her flock to infection. As such, Oprah’s lambs have been spared the evil emanating from Paris Hilton’s black hole vagina.
Elle Degeneres’s audience, however, has not been so fortunate.
Time and again, Ellen brings back that skank twat disease. And time and again, instead of spitting on it, she’s actually nice to it. Very nice. Too nice.
WTF? Does Ellen actually need Paris Hilton for ratings???
That would be no.
Ellen had Ebola on her show again this week and simpered through the entire interview, even when Ebola mentioned she was abusing and neglecting 17 dogs in addition to the cats and various other animals that have suffered the misfortune of being adopted into her home.
Revolting. And sad. Because now Ellen Degeneres is officially infected. Ellen is done.
Was stuck in dress fitting hell yesterday but it’s finally Friday! Am blogging all day – check back often. Have a great weekend!
Yours in gossip,
Lainey
PS. Jonathan Rhys Meyers is not having help issues. Kate Bosworth hasn’t been blowing away the pain. Lately. And Eric Bana’s wife is not a lesbian.
Her virus does not discriminate! It will take down even her own family members! TMZ.com broke the story – Ebola Paris Hilton’s little brother Barron was arrested for DUI this morning at 8:30am in Malibu. Another Hilton attempts vehicular homicide. Brilliant. Barron Hilton is 18. If memory serves, the legal drinking age in the United States is 21. Full Story
Am sorry to say but Lindsay Lohan is officially ugly. And this isn’t calling someone ugly first thing on a Sunday, or when they’re wearing their glasses walking the dog with eye snot in the morning. This is Lindsay Lohan in a very cute outfit yesterday, shopping at Bristol Farms. She KNEW she was going to get photographed. Full Story
Please welcome John Mayer onto the Freebie Five. Not because he was the hotness on stage with Alicia Keys at the Grammys, even though he did indeed fire up the loins the way he grooved to the beat with his hair and his pants (click here for the clip... Full Story
Finally her disease gets put to good use. Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton’s new movie was released this weekend and earned only $80 per screen for a meagre total of $9,000. As Dina Lohan would say: Justice! Still…it’s not all good news. The film’s per screen average amounted to about 10 people per screening. Full Story
If for some reason Adrian Grenier is still on your Freebie Five list, it’s time to face the disease and move on. If for some reason it wasn’t enough that he was hanging out with Hollywood Ebola Paris HIlton last summer, it should be enough now that he not only remains friends with her virus but also will appear in public to support her projects. Full Story
Any man who makes Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton cry deserves consideration for the Freebie 5. And this is exactly what 50 Cent did last night at the 944 Magazine party here in Scottsdale. It was Ebola’s party, she was the title hostess – we skipped it to go to Diddy’s for obvious reasons. Full Story
It appears Elisha Cuthbert’s career has gone the way of Jared Leto's. Because while Elisha and Hollywood Ebola Paris Hilton have always been tight, until now Elisha has yet to allow Ebola’s deadly fluids to infect her. Full Story
Who walks like this? Out of her hotel!?!?! Look at it! Look at Hollywood Ebola posing, per usual, for the mere 20 seconds it takes to step from the doors to her car… I see her and something primitive rises from inside of me… they call it the will to live. The fight that’s buried deep inside of us, to save our species, to persevere for future generations our great civilisation – a civilisation threatened by this f&cking disease called Paris Hilton and the unspeakable evil emanating from between its legs. Full Story
Shocker! While Jessica Biel and her Shelf Ass have been in England massacring a movie with her bad accent, her Pipsqueak beau has been left to his own devices and seen partying solo and fighting temptation in LA. Rumours surfaced today from New York that he was spotted at Tenjune making out with a sizzling brunette. Full Story
