Suri Cruise Gossip
During their trip to NYC last weekend, Little Sci’s parents took her to a performance of Hairspray on Broadway and she loved it. Tom and KatE also told the show’s star Jenifer Lewis that Hairspray is actually Little Sci’s favourite video. Well of course it is! Hairspray is the Gayest Show on Earth! The GMD probably can’t get enough of it, and watching with his daughter is, like, the best bonus ever. Full Story
The GMD’s interview with the Mighty Opes was the talk of the weekend. Click here to read my initial impressions . How many times did they have to say “I Love You” before she left the house? Watching these two I’m convinced I’m in a loveless marriage. Full Story
She looks French! Somehow the GMD and KatE Holmes Cruise were able to produce a Gallic heir. Look at that pout! And that adorable overbite… seriously, how can you not love Little Sci! Elle est trop mignone! From the pages of the new OK! Magazne... Full Story
More hilarity courtesy of the GMD’s devotion to Xenu – yet another video has surfaced of Tom receiving the IAS Freedom Medal of Valour Award at some Scientology clusterf&ck (???) and saluting a huge portrait of L Ron Hubbard on stage. Like Top Gun all over again. Except this time we’re fighting aliens and no hot men playing beach volleyball. Full Story
What is the GMD up to now? Remember Little Knut? He’s not so little now but when he was little he made international headlines because his mother rejected him and he was raised by his trainer at the Berlin Zoo. At the time, some animal rights activists were advocating for him to be euthanised believing he would otherwise grow up unnaturally. Full Story
This is why I am the worst aunt and would be an even worse mother: when toddlers cry (excluding the event of an emergency – easy there MiniVan), to me it’s so cute I have to laugh… which I’m told encourages whatever they happen to be wailing about. Which is why this clip of Little Sci getting upset about something is probably the most adorable I’ve ever seen her…and she’s already incredibly adorable. Full Story
I love her! I love her so much! Look at Little Sci in Paris with Katie! A perfect Parisian outfit too, non? Little Sci is the cutest!!! As for Katie – there’s something very very sexy about here in these photos. Mostly because the GMD is nowhere to be found. But curious curious observation: check out her boobs. Full Story
The life of the Cruises: Katie, Tom, and Little Sci…only one word applies. AMAZING. Everything is amazing. Amazing times 1,000. Amazing all over the place. Skepticism aside, you’d think the Church of Scientology could afford a Thesaurus? New interview to air Monday, Katie waxes amazing on her life, on motherhood, on Tom’s gifts as a father, on her stepchildren and as you would expect… they all share the same attribute. Full Story
Objectivity continued… As told to People Magazine- naturally – Katie Holmes is Miss Popular on the set of Mad Money in Shreveport, Louisiana treating the crew to cupcakes and goodies for the third week in a row. Last time it was ice cream, then there was special pizza flown in from Chicago while her husband, with Little Sci, was equally hospitable and friendly with everyone around them. Full Story
Oh, I mean KatE. No eee. Just Kate. Née Holmes. Now RoboBride to GMD, under fire from Janice Min and Us Weekly and all gossips everywhere for being just that: a wife on automatic, controlled by her husband. And so the friends and supporters are lining up in her defense, most vocal of the lot has been Jada Pinkett Smith who, of course, has given an exclusive interview to – who else? - People Magazine, extensively extolling “Kate’s” virtues, repeating the KatE distinction over and over again, and emphasising what she calls Katie’s QUIET POWER, Katie’s QUITE THUNDER. Full Story
Navigating the gossip terrain is a tricky business. Celebrity spin, publicists feeding fake stories, weeding through the sales and the conspiracies – unless you’re a card carrying member of the MiniVan Majority, you probably want to be a bit more discerning with your smut, right? Especially since the rags will pretty much print anything. Full Story
Growing up fast and growing up SUPER CUTE! Check out Little Sci yesterday, in the arms of her mother, attended by her grandmother, and already perfecting the glazed-eye look ubiquitous in all women at Church.
RoboBaby?
Chill. I’m not raggin’ on Suri. Because Suri is delightful. Chubby and delightful and fathered by the GMD. Full Story
Girl needs a new speechwriter. I mean, I understand the need to grease the MiniVan Majority, to craft a perfect perfect illusion and a picture perfect existence, but creativity still counts for something and in the creativity department, the Cruise strategy is for shit. I mean if she’s going to say the same thing over and over again, at least make it fresh…you know what I mean?
Harper’s Bazaar interview, canned answers below and my suggested changes:
On Loving Tom: I have a husband and children that I adore. Full Story
Hello Little Sci!!! She’s pretty cute, isn’t she? Cute enough to get people talking and the midweek hi-jack is well underway.
Fresh off the Labour Day lull, Katie Couric started her new job off with a bang, airing exclusive photos from the Vanity Fair photoshoot, depicting the Family Cruise in various states of bliss, with your requisite shot of Katie nuzzling nauseatingly up on her fiancé – an image they insist on throwing at us each and every time we see them. Full Story
I'm sure you've heard - apparently Penelope Cruz has also had the privilege of seeing Suri and, like Jada Pinkett Smith and Leah Remini before her, she has repeated the mantra: Little Sci is a beauty, the most beautiful baby ever, of all time, stampted, no blocksies, swear on John Travolta's favourite gay massage therapist. Full Story
Brilliant coup for Us Weekly, non? After weeks and weeks of undercover parenting, Katie has finally been spotted in Telluride, Colorado with coffee and without Suri. As you can see, she looks pretty good. And thankfully not yet a stick insect.
Now according to the article, some 'clerk at a natural food store' was able to get a good look at the 'funny looking' baby, which hasn't necessarily put a kibosh on the conspiracy tautology that has hit new dramatic heights thanks to the TMZ release of the birth certificate yesterday. Full Story
In case you missed it, please click here for yesterday's offering on the whereabouts of Suri Cruise. It is the celebrity mystery of the moment and definitely something to ponder as you head into your weekend.
So as mentioned before, it appears there is yet another angle we haven’t explored, courtesy of Shelley in Toronto. Full Story
Again, for the benefit of his rapacious legal team - please note that what you are about to read is based on conjecture and gossip and rumour and has not been confirmed and Tom Cruise is the most virile man on the planet and his Church is all wise and all mighty and they are very, very nice, praise Xenu forever and ever…. Full Story
First a wedding album…now a honeymoon album??? Wow. Can you get enough?
Here are Nicole and Keith on hols at their ultra private resort in Tahiti. Gotta admire those plucky pappies for being able to get in so close. Then again, they knew exactly where to go, oui? I wonder when Suri Cruise is going to show up and crash this party. Full Story
Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, at the tender age of 15 days, is already changing our world. She is dominating our discussions, she is captivating an international audience, and she is helping to further cement her parents' status as the reigning Zeus and Hera of a Land called Celebrity. Much more so than her Scientological counterpart Suri Cruise, who has yet to be strategically product placed and who is becoming more urban legend and less flesh and bone with each passing day. Full Story
