Xenu Smut Articles
Of course they had to. Of course they had to pose with SJP. SJP just won the box office. And you know how the GMD loves to grow himself onto anything and anyone mildly successful. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes did not walk the carpet last night but tried to pimp their fraud love backstage and also loitered about, freakin’ people out with their crazy eyes, giving people chills with their weird intense stares. Full Story
Connor Cruise has caught the acting bug and will be joining the family business. Connor has just signed on to Seven Pounds alongside the GMD’s BFF Will Smith and will play Will’s son, making all of their lives further intertwined. Full Story
As mentioned earlier, Tom and Katie were on hand for the Beckhams birthday party last night in Santa Monica. Which means that, again, In Touch Weekly is, as usual, full of ass. Katie is NOT leaving him. Maybe that’s why she looks like sh*t. That gold dress on Katie used to be a couch in Hong Kong at the Peninsula hotel – back in the 40s when ladies smoked out of long, slender pipes, and always wore gloves. Full Story
Only Madonna. Only Madonna could attack the GMD’s virility under the guise of sympathy. Madge gave an interview to New York Magazine and defended Tom Cruise’s scientological fanaticism by comparing him to starving orphans in Africa: "He is a good person. Full Story
Little Sci turned 2 on Friday and her family threw her a private party. The paps were able to capture a few aerial shots of the celebration. There’s Isabella who spends, like, zero time with her mother, even though her mother has time to attend every Nashville Predators playoff game, writing a cute message in chalk on stone for her baby sister, and Connor too, speaking to his father who at the time was holding a doll. Full Story
Is Little Sci’s second birthday! Where in the world is Little Sci?!? I miss her! The GMD has been conserving Little’s power of late, some say to keep her out of the spotlight, some say because she’s already beginning her training with Xenu. But this week, In Touch splashed a titillating story on their cover, proclaiming that Katie somehow deprogrammed herself and is demanding to break free. Full Story
His name is Jason Beghe. Once upon a time he worshipped at the altar of Xenu. Now he’s cut ties with the Church and is launching a vitriolic attack. Click here... Full Story
Trouble ahead. Steel yourselves. No wonder he’s been ingratiating himself to Disney and even to Sumner Redstone – looks like United Artists is in trouble and the GMD is scrambling. Originally intended for a summer release, Valkyrie was then pushed back to October. Now it looks like the film has no chance of competing against the season’s award heavyweights which is why it’s just been announced that Valkyrie will not see the light of day until February 2009. Full Story
She looks French! Somehow the GMD and KatE Holmes Cruise were able to produce a Gallic heir. Look at that pout! And that adorable overbite… seriously, how can you not love Little Sci! Elle est trop mignone! From the pages of the new OK! Magazne... Full Story
Katie’s new haircut – it looks like the GMD! He wants her to complete him… by BECOMING him! CHILLS, CHILLS, and more f&cking CHILLS! Here’s Katie last night out for dinner. Hard to say for sure if it suits her (I kinda like it), at least not until we get a better shot, and still not known whether it’s for a role, but you bet your leather chaps and feathers that her husband likes it very very much. Full Story
The world has been clamouring for more Little Sci, especially since it seems the GMD and Robobride have kept her tucked away for quite some time now, supposedly because they want to jack up the value of her 2nd birthday photos. Attached – scans from a German magazine (thanks to German readers for the tip) of the most recent photo of Little Sci taken at an LA park. Full Story
Speak of the Xenu… this just in! The GMD has been found. With exclusive information on what he’s been up to. Am told that Tom Cruise was spotted yesterday at the Walt Disney studio lot taking a meeting with Dick Cook who is the top dog at Walt Disney. Little Sci was with her dad, no Katie, and they were outside the Team Disney Building with the Seven Dwarves (the Gay Midget Dwarf and the Seven Dwarves!) looking at the statues of Mickey and Minnie and they were attended to by 3 assistants and 3 security. Full Story
Addressing rumours that he’s now one with The Church, Will Smith told the NY Daily News: "I am a Christian. I am a student of all religions. And I respect all people and all paths. Full Story
This has made my life. And it will make yours. Or at the very least, it will make your Friday. Promise. So Gawker has posted a new video from deep within the Vault of Xenu of a birthday party a few years ago planned by David Miscavige for the Church’s golden boy Tom Cruise. Full Story
One by one, gossips. One by one he’s taking over all of them. One by one he’s changing the best of them – under the guise of studio ownership and the promise of professional partnerships, the GMD is luring the best to Xenu. Like Ebola, he can never be vanquished. Last night out for dinner, not content to have corrupted Will Smith, now Tom Cruise has his sights set on Forest Whitaker. Full Story
