At the CMAs last night there was little to no chance Kenny Chesney would lose to Keith Urban. Kenny’s crown was pretty much locked up. And so the Kidmans arrived with few expectations, showing up to save face and to promote Keith’s People Magazine cover and to make a glamourous announcement, despite unfounded whispers to the contrary, that he does indeed intend to honour his contractual obligations.

Ever the attention whore, Nicole could not resist an opportunity to own a carpet, as she always does. “Natural” or not… and obviously NOT… Nicole’s red carpet resumé over the last decade is almost flawless. And last night was more of the same.

Simply put, this dress is spectacular. Spectacular. Nicole being Nicole, it’s not only the dress, but all the details too. Hair is perfect, LOOOOOVE the red lips. Love the willingness to brave the clash. The clash, on Nicole, totally totally works.

Still…because this is Nicole… there lacks a certain softness about her appearance, non? And it’s more than the frozen forehead. It is as I described after seeing her at the Oscars: she is a perfect statue. Every movement is measured, every pose rehearsed – not unlike Victoria Beckham – the result of which is terrifying beauty without any lifelike appeal…and the reason why Nashville can’t warm to her Freeze.

Last night was no exception. The eyerolling started the moment Nicole made her grand entrance, husband in tow – you don’t wear a dress like that without any expectations. But this is not the way to endear yourself to a community that doesn’t care for the Hollywood angel dust.

And please… please don’t think for a second she wouldn’t have known or that it hadn’t been planned. There is a book that was given to me last year prior to the Oscars in preparation for eTalk’s live pre-show. Made For Each Other by Bronwyn Cosgrave chronicles the history of Oscar fashion – the blood, sweat, and tears behind picking the perfect gown.

Nicole Kidman’s 1997 appearance is now legendary. You will recall it was the chartreuse Dior and it was an obsessive endeavour requiring her to chase a socialite up the Alps to secure the gown, consult for weeks with Tom Cruise fully engaged in the process with stylists about the exact shade of her hair, and sit frozen (training for present day, I suppose) in a limo for 2 hours in a traffic jam on Oscar night to prevent from wrinkling her masterpiece. Needless to say, her efforts paid off.

But the point of the story – this is a woman who choreographs everything. For whom grace does not come “naturally”. Nicole Kidman plots every move. Which why last night had to be all about her.

And why not? She"s the international celebrated, Oscar-winning actor...why shouldn"t Nashville fall at her feet? Why should she adapt to Nashville, abide by their customs, and become one of "them"?


Then again, she did say she was totally fitting in down there, non?

My ass.