Dear Gossips,

There were at least two new listicle-style posts online yesterday about the hotness of Oscar Isaac. Oh really? Because remember when I SAW HIM FIRST? Anyway, Oscar was born in the Year of the Goat. He was actually born on my ma’s birthday in 1979 which could be the luckiest of all goats during the Year of the Monkey.

Goats of every year had to work hard last year, their own year. This year though, goats may have glory. People will know you. (So I guess even more people will start jumping on Oscar Isaac. Great.) There shouldn’t be too many obstacles for Goats but be careful of temptation. Think of a tree that sprouts three leaves. Two leaves is ideal but the third leaf could be a problem. Use your intelligence and instead of allowing that third leaf to be a problem, turn it into an ally, a helpful resource.

1931 Goats will be respected. Be advised though that there may be health concerns and the possibility of surgery. Female Goats born this year should be mindful of the uterus. Male Goats born this year should be mindful of the prostate.

1943 Goats have the protection of two lucky stars. You will be heard and money might flow towards you.

1955 Goats could meet lots of friends this year.

1967 Goats should enjoy good finances but there are distractions. You may want to limit, budget yourself. And mind your excesses.

1979 Goats, as previously mentioned, could have the smoothest ride of all Goats this year. You will be supported. There may be big career moves. Communication is strong. The Squawking Chicken says you will have “good talking”.

1991 Goats must continue to prove themselves this year and be mindful of accidents.

In particular, extra caution is recommended for Goats born in 1931, 1955, and 1991. Stay away from high-risk activities. Complacency is the enemy of good luck. So, even though the advisory is positive for Goats in general, don’t slack on vigilance, don’t be lazy, don’t take your luck for granted. Good luck needs to be respected. Enjoy it and appreciate it.

Monday is the 12th and final day of the 12 Days of Chinese New Year and the first day of the Year of the Monkey. Before that though, it’s Super Bowl weekend. And the Super Bowl happens to be happening on Chinese New Year’s Eve. Clean before the big game? Clean as much as you can this weekend. You’re pushing out the remains of the Year of the Goat/Sheep. Many of you have been emailing about the cleaning thing. What if you’re busy and you can’t clean, how thorough should the cleaning be.

If you have the time, it’s the most thorough clean ever. Behind the stove/range. Behind the fridge. Every dusty corner. And don’t forget the car. If you’ve got other sh-t planned and you can’t get to everything, I mean, do what you can, obviously, but make sure the entryways are always clear. No clutter around the doors. The point is to allow good luck to enter freely and to make sure that good luck isn’t offended when it arrives only to be greeted by dirt and mess.

Fresh sheets and a fresh – preferably new – pair of pyjamas on Sunday night if possible. And wash your hair that night too because you should NOT be washing it on Monday, New Year’s Day. It means you’ll be washing away the luck.

Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,