It’s a summer blockbuster. A lot of sh-t blows up. They quip a lot. Most of the sh-t that happens is absurd, like ludicrously impossible, and the bad guys squint their eyes and the good guys, obviously, prevail. So yeah, A-Team is a good time, if that’s what you expect.

Casting is indeed note perfect. The chemistry between them is also note perfect. I like it when boys are besties and trust each other and get all bromantic. I especially like it when one of those boys is Bradley Cooper walking around shirtless. Very often. And when he’s not walking around shirtless, he’s wearing tight muscle shirts and making me crazy with his hot hair while at the same time amusing the man factor in the audience. Jacek laughed at almost every Coop scene. It’s because that cocky son of a bitch, he spends the whole time smirking and making other assholes look like bigger assholes.

But I also left the theatre with a crush on Rampage Jackson + Sharlto Copley. They are adorable together. And it all goes back to that buddy camaraderie appeal. It’s why we all love that scene from Good Will Hunting in the bar and the nerd-off between Matt Damon and gross guy with blonde hair because he’s sticking up for Ben Affleck and then he does the apple thing and everyone fist pumps like yeah. To me the strength in A-Team is what happens when the four of them are hanging out together, not pulling triggers and setting off bombs, but just simply lounging around plotting sh-t, being bestie dudes and hot.

At 2 hours though, it’s on the long side. What happened to all the editors in Hollywood? I’m not saying A-Team is as excruciatingly interminable as Sex & the City 2 but I don’t need my standard popcorn explosion movie to exceed 100 minutes. It’s entirely unnecessary.

Having said that, A-Team is a very good set-up for the franchise. I like this franchise very much. So much possibility. So many future villains, so much intrigue, so many potential man fights that lead to man breakups that lead to man makeups, and so many more plans...

By the next time though, Coop’s people are expecting he’ll be a big star. Will this current contract stand up? Contract drama is my favourite.

PS. Did you ever watch As the World Turns? Back in my own Tiger Beat days, I wanted Brian Bloom to be my boyfriend so badly. Those piercing blue eyes! Bloom wrote The A-Team and stars as the villain. I don’t know, it mattered to me...