A handy list of actors who think you’re stupid

Sarah Posted by Sarah at November 7, 2011 15:14:45 November 7, 2011 15:14:45

ThatΓÇÖs what Forbes should have called their list of ΓÇ£HollywoodΓÇÖs most overpaid starsΓÇ¥. In and of itself, thereΓÇÖs nothing wrong with commercial filmmaking. ItΓÇÖs not a completely soulless endeavor, itΓÇÖs just that itΓÇÖs frustrating when movies consistently get made to the lowest common denominator and people with actual talent squander it repeatedly on trash. Certainly the audience bears some responsibility in thatΓÇöfilmmaking is a consumer-driven businessΓÇöbut it does seem like there are some actors who are determined to make the stupidest junk on the planet and expect us to buy it every time. HereΓÇÖs who Forbes called out as the biggest offenders:

Drew Barrymore
Eddie Murphy
Will Ferrell
Reese Witherspoon
Denzel Washington
Nicolas Cage
Adam Sandler
Vince Vaughn
Tom Cruise
Nicole Kidman

Forbes ranked them according to dollars earned against dollars spentΓÇöBarrymore only returns forty cents on the dollarΓÇöbut I would group them according to how dumb they think we are. Then the list looks like this:

Adam Sandler
Eddie Murphy
Nicolas Cage
Vince Vaughn
Reese Witherspoon
Tom Cruise
Nicole Kidman
Drew Barrymore
Will Ferrell
Denzel Washington

Sandler, Murphy and Cage go into the category of ΓÇ£people who think weΓÇÖre complete morons who will watch whatever sh*t they shovel usΓÇ¥. The sad thing is, Murphy and Cage are actually talented and they squander it on trash like Daddy Day Care and Ghost Rider. Cage just bombed out with the disastrous Trespass. As Forbes noted, Murphy had a lot riding on Tower Heist but it failed to beat holdover Puss in Boots, earning barely $25 million against a $75 million budgetΓÇönot impressive, but it is encouraging that people are not, in fact, as moronic as Murphy thinks they are. And Sandler continues to be inexplicably successful despite having long since abandoned whatever integrity he may once have had (I will defend Billy Madison and Happy Gilmore to the death). Worse, Sandler is so powerful he was able to foist Kevin James on us. HOW DID WE LET IT GET THIS FAR?

Vaughn, Witherspoon and Cruise are ΓÇ£people who got famous doing one thing and have stuck to that same move even as their scripts got continually worseΓÇ¥. Witherspoon has identified this problem and is trying to shake up her image, though IΓÇÖm not sure that ΓÇ£sexyΓÇ¥ is working for her, either. Still, at least sheΓÇÖs trying. Like Witherspoon, Cruise has determined he needs to branch out and heΓÇÖs done so by donning a fat suit as Les Grossman in Tropic ThunderΓÇöa new schtick he quickly beat to death by not understanding the point of a one-offΓÇöand trying too hard to impress the kids. Also, though pushing 50 and having decimated his tough-guy image (if he was ever really convincing in that role to begin with), he refuses to retire the action star thing and itΓÇÖs starting to get kind of sad. Sweet hell, Knight and Day was awful. And Vaughn is still clinging to his fast-talking, overgrown frat boy thing like a life raft on the Titanic.

Kidman and Barrymore are ΓÇ£people who bomb on the big stage but do well on a smaller scaleΓÇ¥. Kidman has multiple commercial disasters against herΓÇöThe Golden Compass, Australia, NineΓÇöbut sheΓÇÖs also done good work in Margot at the Wedding and Rabbit Hole at the same time. Likewise, Barrymore has the likes of 50 First Dates and Going the Distance, but she was terrific in HBOΓÇÖs Grey Gardens and her directorial debut, Whip It, wasnΓÇÖt totally unfortunate. Kidman could be choosier in her commercial roles and Barrymore should probably just avoid the multiplex all together for a while, but itΓÇÖs not like theyΓÇÖre actually trying to kill us with their sh*tty movies.

And finally, Ferrell and Washington are ΓÇ£people who simply make too much moneyΓÇ¥. Denzel struck out with The Book of Eli, but Unstoppable was bankable, despite being ludicrous. Plus, he made the excellent Inside Man and American Gangster. Ferrell has the massive bomb Land of the Lost against him but generally heΓÇÖs a guy you can count on to turn a profit, like with The Other Guys, Step Brothers and Blades of Glory. Ferrell isnΓÇÖt trying to make epic cinema, heΓÇÖs just trying to make us laugh and heΓÇÖs consistently good at that. Plus, his movies are much, much less offensive than SandlerΓÇÖs. No, for  Denzel and Ferrell, their biggest crime is not making bad movies, itΓÇÖs making too much money. Their salariesΓÇöboth in the eight-figure rangeΓÇöare so high that itΓÇÖs virtually impossible for their box office to justify their paychecks. If they simply worked for less theyΓÇÖd be taken off this list.

Click here to read the Forbes profiles of the actors who think weΓÇÖre dumb and who, in this spirit,  donΓÇÖt deserve our support.


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