Maroon 5’s Adam Levine as Brad from Fight Club for Halloween, pretty much pissing on Pitt’s legacy. As if.

As if a helium-voiced little douche could come close to the quiveration. Maybe, just maybe, if he could actually perform live. But as it so happens, Adam’s ball-less screeches fall far short of the hotness, though his ego is still inflated from f&cking Jessica Simpson last year. Rumour has it she showed up at his hotel room wearing nothing but a trench. At least that’s the story he allegedly likes to blast at the top of his lungs when he’s drunk off his tree.

I totally believe it. Which means he lied to Nick Lachey. I love Hollywood.