Laura always says I’m fickle. This is true. I will turn on a bitch without hesitation. This is why my crushes don’t last very long. Because perfection is impossible. And when that becomes too obvious in the subject, the subject is discarded.

But I tried with Adrien Brody. Uncharacteristically I tried. When he was done with Elsa Pataky, I tried and he failed. He keeps failing. He fails with his constant posing. He fails with his sunglasses at the Laker game. And he definitely fails with that f-cking growth on his face, a douche growth no matter where you are, what part of the world. That sh-t belongs on DoucheFaces. It’s the universal sign of DoucheFace. Adrien is a DoucheFace.

And while he’ll try to convince it’s some kind of Euro styles, please let’s all remind him that he owns a FAKE CASTLE in Upstate New York. There is no Euro happening here. There is no Jude Law. There is simply DoucheFace and Done.

Done. Dead. Over.

Here’s Adrien last night at the Iron Man 2 premiere in LA.

Photos from and Frazer Harrison/