Alex Pettyfer reminds me of the quarterback or whatever lead athlete character in a high school sports movie who cannot deal with losing and, like, ends up roughing up his ex-girlfriend, the cheerleader, who is now dating the new kid in town. It’s such a cliché, but that doesn’t mean archetypes don’t exist.

What’s happening to Alex now is that he’s 21 and he thought he was the Main Sh-t, with everyone throwing offers at him, and then his movie flopped at the box office, and his girlfriend broke up with him, and there was a fire at his house, and he’s mad at the world and doesn’t want to be your friend anymore. At least that’s what it sounds like: waaah waaah waaah.

Did you read the excerpted quotes from his interview with VMAN? I need to know how this kid ended up at this interview without a publicist and/or how they agreed to let him do this at all. It’s terrible talent management. Especially when you know he’s in a funk and stomping his feet about it. Why put him in front of a journalist? Seems like a dumb move.

Some highlights from what will surely become one of the most memorable articles on Pettyfer’s resume, if he actually continues to have a career:

On why he has a “Thank You” tattoo in that hot little area right above his pubic hair:
"In case I forget to say it,” – with a wink.

"L.A. is growing on me a little bit but it's still a sh-t hole. I think it's this insidious pool where nearly everyone lives in fear. Geographically it's fantastic, but socially it's disgusting. I wish they'd run all the c-nts out.

I wish I had some interesting stories about living in L.A., but mostly I just do my work and then go home. Being an actor is like being in prison. You go, you serve your time, you try and replicate Johnny Depp's career and then you move to Paris."

Here’s the thing – I kinda agree with almost everything he says. Have you been to LA? It IS a sh-t hole. It IS indeed overrun by twats. There’s no culture, there’s no spirit, and geographically I actually don’t even think it’s all that great apart from the weather. Drive around LA, it’s not like there’s any character, you know?

This is not to say that good people don’t live there. Of course they do. But the LA that he’s talking about? The LA that we know? That LA is f-cked up and gross. He’s not wrong about it, no. But he doesn’t get to say it either, and you know why? Because he’s only saying it after being rejected by it. When everyone was all over his cock 4 months ago, calling him the next, and he was dating the pretty blonde, and scripts were being sent his way first, LA probably wasn’t the sh-t hole he thinks it is now. Now these are just the bitter words of a whiny little bitch…who, for some reason, reminds me of Lindsay Lohan. There’s a similar undertone, non?

Maybe they should hook up.


Attached – Alex appeared on This Morning on ITV in London last week.

Photos from