Please. These ‘roidy motherf-ckers and their massive egos. First reaction when the ego takes a bruising is to call up the boys and pull their dicks out in retaliation. Who else but Alex Rodriguez?

He and Manslinger Kate Hudson are no longer together. You’ve seen Kate in action. Through Owen Wilson, through Justin Timberlake, through Lance Armstrong, through Adam Scott… Kate doesn’t look back, and she most certainly doesn’t cling.

Now that it’s over though, nursing a bruised ego, ARod needs to make you think that he was the one who walked. Which is why his friends are talking to the tabloids, trying to spin the split like it was HIS decision. According to US Weekly, a source close to ARod reveals that:

"Kate seemed compelled to track and follow his every move. He's just coming off of a 13-year relationship with his ex-wife and a recent divorce. He has two lovely children with his ex-wife, and that requires a certain amount of responsibility. She gave him ultimatums that a newly divorced father can't meet."

Nice and sexist, non? Every time a relationship doesn’t work out it’s because the bitch wants more, more, more.

This is not Kate Hudson. Trust.

Still, ARod has face to save. And he also must placate the Yankee fans who want an explanation about why their good luck charm is no longer around. Get ready for it:

Apparently ARod was tired of Kate’s attention whoring. She wanted to be in the spotlight all the time.

"It was a turnoff to have a girlfriend who always wanted to be on camera. Alex wanted someone who was more interested in building a long-term relationship than just building their profile."

Alex Rodriguez wanted privacy and less attention…what? So he didn’t know Kate Hudson was a movie star before he started sleeping with her? He’d never heard of her? This is the same ARod who dated Madonna? How do you date f-cking Madonna and want to be low key?

F-cking dumbass obviously doesn’t know how to lie. Because this is some of the worst bullsh-t EVER.

Looks like ARod’s douche is back. It took a break for a while but you can’t hold it down forever.

File photos from