Dylan said to me the other day that it’s scary being a single straight dude these days: “I keep givin’ the business to, like, 16 year olds.” He means with his eyes. He keeps eyef7cking the underage ones, thinking they’re legal, only to find out he was 5 minutes away from committing a crime.

Is it his fault if they all look like Ali Lohan?

Granted, Ali Lohan is an extreme case. Ali Lohan is 14. 14 going on 34, and now doing mama proud and showing off some newly formed bouncing breasts. Right on schedule. Tits at 14, sexy photos on the internet by 15, living with her boyfriend at the Marmont by 16, and an eating disorder at 17. Can’t wait!

Check it out – 2 old hags called Lohan in New York this weekend visiting Lilo.

Photos from Splashnewsonline.com