It’s an obvious title. But I feel like we have to get obvious here. Because, well, nothing has been subtle about the Amal Alamuddin-George Clooney wedding roll-out. He told us when and where. We know the hotel, we know the designers, we know the officiant.

In two days, George will marry Amal in Venice. Here she is arriving in Milan on Tuesday with her mother and a fresh white manicure and not a French manicure. Of course it’s not a French manicure. Would Sarah Burton allow her dress to be worn with a French manicure?

Are you surprised by how open they’ve been about their wedding?

It’s not how the Brange did it. It’s totally the opposite. But maybe as Hollywood’s presiding Chairman, perhaps this is a wedding more fitting of his position, especially if, as many of you think, he has political aspirations. The Chairman doesn’t marry under cloak and secrecy, in an old French cave. The Chairman is accompanied by pomp and fireworks, always.

And for a man who vowed never to marry again, if he finally meets The One who could change his mind, isn’t this how he wants to announce it to the world? At full voice, at the head of the boat, the “king of the world”? He keeps saying he’s “marrying up”. Maybe he doesn’t think you can’t say you’re “marrying up” and then go totally underground. That’s the other side of the argument. Either he’s a famewhore with ulterior motives or he’s a bachelor no more who’s telling you, I’m not ashamed of this woman, it’s my honour she’d agree to marry me, I’m proud she wants to be my wife.

Gossip buffet. You decide.