Disney released a poster featuring Angelina Jolie as Maleficent yesterday. The movie will be released on May 30. And that’s great timing, you know why?


The Cannes Film Festival runs from May 14 – May 25 and, well, Brange loves Cannes. And it’s not like the Jolie is new to premiering a film out of competition there. She does it all the time. They love those red steps. They love reigning over their public at the entrance to the Palais. I love watching them reign over me at the entrance to the Palais. It’s a f-cking spectacle. And I cannot imagine that this isn’t an option right now. I can’t imagine that they wouldn’t be working to make this happen, only this time, maybe, to shake things up, with the children too. Remember, she is the master of the sell. And the best part of her sell game is that she understands the value of each drop. At that time of year, there’s no better reason than Maleficent and no bigger stage than Cannes.

Now, just to make it extra, EXTRA, EXTRA amazing…

Imagine Brange at Cannes and exploding the universe with their Pitt Porn and all the babies and it totally cockblocks Kanye West’s wedding?

Yes, Kanye West and Kanye West’s fiancée are reportedly planning to marry at a chateau in France on May 24th, conveniently when the world entertainment media will be gathered there to cover the festival. Coincidence or conspiracy? Please.

God wouldn’t you love it if fewer people paid attention because BRANGE IS EVERYTHING?