An easy knot like this is so underrated. And it doesn’t need to look like this. Angelina’s isn’t perfect, and this is a good thing. It could have very well been swept off off her face and neck, looped around an elastic a few times, and done. If you have long hair, like, me, this takes all of 10 seconds. I liked the plainness of it. I liked that you could see a few strands loose. That it wasn’t plastered tight against her head, pulling back her eyebrows. Rather, all of it held back was just a curtain reveal to that crazy ass face.

God, can you believe this face?

Only this face and those lips made that dress tolerable. On anyone else you’d be sh-tting on it otherwise. Duana said something to me when we were struggling to get going on writing tonight - don’t think the Jolie doesn’t f-ck around like this to make a point: I’m so beautiful, only I can make WHITE AND RED not completely atrocious.


You just realised that, didn’t you?

Break it down and that’s what this is: WHITE AND RED at an awards show. But because she’s the one wearing it, wearing it with that insanely beautiful face, the white and red, it doesn’t bother you so much. That’s Angelina Jolie.

Not nearly enough cutaways of them though. If it were me directing the show, we would cut to them at least once in every block. I spoke to several people inside the ballroom after the event wrapped; they all confirmed Brange went heavy with the porn during breaks. At one point, after a kiss, he held on to her bottom lip with both of his for an extra beat or two before letting go. HOT, right??? WHY AREN’T WE SEEING THIS? How many times do we have to look at Mr Scorsese? Mr Scorsese is an excellent movie director. This is why he’s BEHIND the camera.

By the way, E! cameras shot both Brad and Angelina smoking after the show ended. I’m telling you, the smoking balcony needs its own camera. Yes, yes. It would appear the Jolie not only doesn’t mind Brad’s smoking, she also joins in.