Here’s Anne Hathaway promoting Becoming Jane the other day in New York. Anne has the honour of playing Jane Austen in a film about a secret romance that inspired the books. Early reviews have not been kind although if you want a boy to fall in love with, James McAvoy is your man.

As for Anne….well she certainly seems to have avoided the Child Star Curse that has afflicted so many of her peers. No drug problem, no crotch shot, no paparazzi camped outside her house, no meltdowns, and no marriage. So far so good….but for a small, small problem. Maybe it’s just me, but something about the boyfriend bothers me. His name is irrelevant, he is a real estate dude, has that rich playboy look about it and is facing allegations that he misused corporate funds to woo Anne, taking her away on trips and buying her expensive gives. Innocent until proven guilty, yes.

But the real problem here are his eyes. My people call them Lotus Flower Eyes –the eyes of a perv. Look at him. This man has Lotus Flower Eyes. Anne can do way better. Trust.