Written by Duana

What do you suppose Annette Bening does on Oscar night? It must be a routine now, do you think? Does she have a private rant and a cry in the car and then get over herself? Does she not talk about losing the Oscar at all, and then spirit herself off for a week in the Caribbean to think about what her prodigious skill as an actress is missing in terms of being Oscar bait? Like, maybe she makes it too easy?

Me, I think Warren waits for her outside the ladies room, tells her to pick up her socks, and that they’re going to put a smile on the faces of everyone in the Governor’s ball in one hour or less, they sweep through and everyone comments on what a handsome couple they are. (Lainey: they were photographed dancing with Jeff Bridges and his wife.)

Then they get in the car – he never makes her wait, he arranges it so by the time he collects her it’s there, waiting – and then they get some late night sushi and eat it on their gorgeous back deck enclosure looking over the city.

I think that’s how I’d want to recuperate in the first hours after yet another loss, again.

The other thing that really stings is that this year, unlike the ones that have gone before, she really really pulled out the stops with the dress. It was gorgeous, and reminiscent (she must have thought so) of Julia Roberts’ the year she won for Erin Brockovich.

She’ll have to try even harder next time. Fourth time’s the charm? Maybe. What if it isn’t? At what point do you stop trying? What’s the next key?

Photos from Frazer Harrison/Kevork Djansezian/Ethan Miller/Kevin Winter/ROBYN BECK/Gettyimages.com