You know what’s sad about Britney – in a long, long, long list of sad things about Britney? Britney actually thinks she’s smart, clever, and funny, like that dude at a party with all the hardy har har bad jokes. Kinda like my husband. My husband is the quintessential Bad Joke at the Party Guy – the guy who makes the obvious comment, the comments about poo or farting or sex. Like if someone were to say – “yeah it was so hard” he might answer back with … “huh huh, I’ll show you something hard!” Guffaw, guffaw, guffaw. Everyone else: groan, groan, groan.

Difference between him and Britney however is that my husband is surrounded by people who will give him the truth straight up. And we have:

Dude, no. Just…no. Not funny, you need to stop.

So he knows. He is aware that no one is laughing. He knows he’s no Ricky Gervais. But what makes him a sexy dork is that even though he knows he’s a dork, he’s also not interested in being cool. And so he has accepted his status as the Lame Joke Guy. He knows you think he’s a loser and he’s totally ok with it. So in the end, Confident Guy trumps Lame Joke Guy – super hot.

Britney on the other hand actually believes she’s funny as sh-t. And that her witty “I’m trying to be subtle” messages through the pappies constitute advanced comedy. Every other day these days we are treated to yet another embarrassing attempt at “irony” and sarcastic wordplay as Britney continues to communicate through the band of merry photographers assigned to her beat, eager to grab another golden shot of her bald crotch.

The latest offering is a gem – Britney’s thinly veiled jab at Kevin Federline via “apology” note to X17 in reference to the time she shaved her head and attacked them with an umbrella:

Dear X17

I want to apologise for the past incedent (sic) with the umbrella. I was preparing a character for a possible movie role where the husband doesn’t play his part so they swap places. Unfortunately I didn’t get the part, I’m sorry I got all carried away with my role!

Britney

F&cking idiot.

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