Before we get to the nominations, let me just point out how much more energy and excitement there is when the West Coast doesn’t have to wake up at 3:30 AM. Whether that’s good or bad is up to the nomination show’s producers, I guess. The more excited Anthony Anderson got, the more Lauren Graham nervous-giggled. I have watched just about everything Lauren Graham has ever done and I’ve never heard that nervous giggle before. By the end, she was nervously fidgeting like a six-year-old who has to pee. This woman is usually unflappable – am I the only one who was surprised?

Headline-wise, it’s kind of a mixed bag—the Best Dramatic Actor category has charmers like Kyle Chandler and Rami Malek, but kind of lacks star power. When you add in the Best Supporting Actor category, it’s kind of #DramaticActorsSoWhite. 

I am happy about the inclusion of The Americans, finally. Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell and the show all had their best year ever so it’s about time – which doesn’t mean anyone else is watching. But you can’t have the sexiest couple onscreen who are also a couple offscreen not make an appearance – this is just math. Also in the ‘they’re doing it in real life’ category, Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Plemons are both nominated for Fargo. I actually can’t even picture what those red carpet appearances might look like. 

Plus, Keri Russell and Tatiana Maslany, as EVERYONE in Orphan Black, make the Best Dramatic Actress a more interesting category, even though Claire Danes and Robin Wright have basically been napping there since last year. Remember what Viola Davis said in her winning speech last year? “You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there.”

But you can, if you’re a certain someone, create those roles—and not just as an actress. Lemonade gets four nominations, for Picture Editing, Production Design, Best Direction, and overall best Variety Special. “Beyoncé Knowles Carter”, as she’s credited, is listed as director alongside Kahlil Joseph, meaning that Beyoncé EGOT watch just got realer.

While there are still nominations for shows nobody I know is still watching, like Modern Family or (don’t kill me don’t kill me) Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, most of last year’s television obsessions are well represented. Like, Making A Murderer gets six nominations, and Full Frontal with Samantha Bee got a nod for Best Variety Writing yet, somehow, not Best Variety Series? Please. Also if you’re keeping track of the comedy world and associated drama, Tig Notaro and Amy Schumer are nominated in the same category. Schumer’s never able to stay quiet when she’s questioned or criticized, so standby for that. 

Snub-wise, though, Orange Is The New Black got…one nomination. One. For casting. After years of domination. I’ve been keeping my counsel about the fourth season but I’m going to have to break the silence soon, because while the lack of Emmy love is a clear message, it’s not clear what it’s a message to.

But the big story is that The People vs. OJ Simpson gets 22, including nods for alllll the main actors (even Travolta!) and three-way competitions in the Directing, Writing, and Editing. I’d say this was the show to beat, even though Fargo comes to play in almost all the same categories.

Okay no. The BIG story is that TAYLOR SWIFT IS GOING TO THE EMMYS.  Maybe. Probably. Tom Hiddleston is nominated for The Night Manager, so if they’re still together then, and they HAVE to be now, well, we’ll get to see an Emmy gown that Taylor Swift wears when it’s not about her, but totally is at the same time, because who are we kidding? #Taymys? #Swokmys? I’ll leave you to it, but one final thought…

…do you think Anthony Anderson made a joke about Downton Abbey to cover all the audible groans? Who is still voting for that?