You might not like Taylor Swift but there is no way that Taylor Swift, who held the biggest album in years before Adele’s 25, loses in every category she’s nominated in, and definitely not to I Can’t Ariana Grande. This is what we were dealing with last night at the American Music Awards. That’s pretty much why they were a joke. As noted earlier, it seems like the way it works now at the AMAs is that they’ll give you something if you agree to show up.

Of course I Can’t showed up. And so did her brother. And the show was so low-rent that they had to keep cutting away to him for reactions all night. Because Taylor Swift decided she’d rather hang out in Australia early for some rest and relaxation before starting her tour there on November 28. Think about Taylor’s priorities. And think about how low the American Music Awards must rank on her list of priorities for her to not bother. That’s what I mean when I wrote in the previous post that I didn’t understand JLO’s brand decision to host the event.

And so, for those of us unlucky enough to have to sit through the 3 hours, it was a lot of I Can’t. I Can’t has a new hairstyle. I Can’t thought her striptease was sexy. I can’t with I Can’t’s white shoes. I Can’t still can’t enunciate. Neither can Nicki Minaj? Nicki’s fake as f-ck smile during I Can’t’s performance is the emoji now for I Can’t rage:

But you know what? Just when I thought I couldn’t be any more embarrassed than how embarrassed I was by I Can’t’s performance, someone else came along…