It’s hard to listen to the radio right now. Because Problem is every other song. Every time he hears it, Jacek gets all ragey when he’s driving. Is it because the song is annoying? Or is it the singer who’s annoying? The singer with the constantly beseeching eyes. Look at those eyes at the Teen Choice Awards. Every time I see a picture of Ariana Grande I feel like she’s asking me for something.

What?

I don’t know!

It’s like when a baby is crying because it can’t communicate to you if it’s hungry, or tired, or needs to sh-t, etc etc. Except she’s 21 years old. Beseeching you. Always beseeching. From one side of the face.

You’re going to love this. Have you seen it? Have you seen this awesomely awkward moment with Ian Somerhalder on stage last night? What’s happening here? Is it one-side-face preservation? Because if so, that’s commitment, man. That’s a Mimi level of commitment to one side of the face.