Totally have a thing for Ashton Kutcher when he’s not rockin’ the pathetic Gary Beard. He’s gorgeous. And he looks great in pants. And he has that irresistible perpetually “young” look about him, like a frat boy only without the hazing and the gang rapes.

Check out Ashton and Demi on their way to the What Happens in Vegas set yesterday – still together and defying expectations. Love it. Am also amused by his recent vocal commitment to appearing the perfect husband, delivering essays now (in this month’s Harper’s Bazaar) to coach other men on how to complement a woman, as if to assure his gender that by openly talking about accessories and understanding colour coordination and embracing the style process is actually not the antithesis of emasculation but what constitutes a real man.

"Your man should not upstage you. He is there to highlight you. When it comes to getting dressed, men are a little bit more important than handbags but less important than shoes. At any rate, we are merely accessories. Make sure the look isn"t too matchy-matchy. Your best bet is to match the man gear to that great new Balenciaga bag that you"re planning to carry. If your bag works with your outfit, so will he."

So my husband has the worst taste ever, he dresses like a loser, and only recently gave up pleats. My mantra to him has always been “if you look in the mirror and you think you look good…it means you don’t.” Unfortunately he’s like Britney Spears that way. Can’t see the atrocity. Help me.

When I asked him to read the quote, his reply was “whatever, dude is whipped.”

Whatever… Demi Moore is a lucky bitch.

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