The “top story” on at 9am this morning was about Ashton Kutcher with the headline:

Ashton Kutcher Asked Mila Kunis's Dad for Permission to Propose

I rolled my eyes. Others clasped their hands to their chest and sighed from the sweetness. Weddings are big business for women. We’ve been told that we were born for two days: the day we marry and the day we have a baby. Now Mila’s on her way to her first big day after Ashton asked her dad for his blessing supposedly around Christmas.

This information came to PEOPLE from a “Kutcher insider”. And what am I supposed to take from this story? That he’s an old-fashioned guy? Translation: upstanding guy? Right. The love of the right woman changed him. So, in other words, when men f-ck up, it’s just because they haven’t found YOU yet. His “you”, of course, is Mila. She transformed him.

Oh boy. That’s a dangerous promise. But it’s an irresistible fairy tale. I mean that’s what they keep promising for George Clooney.

Here’s Kutcher out on a run yesterday. He’s a goodlooking guy. But shorts are tricky.