First things first, fair is fair – Avril looks STUNNING in the November issue of Flare. Absolutely beautiful. She has a great nose, great bone structure, and I love her blonde hair…it’s really too bad she’s such a punk ass poseur bitch.

Next… I like Avril’s style. I like how it’s evolved. I like that she’s moved from tomboy to edgy glamgirl without turning into a Paris Hilton clone. It’s really too bad she’s such a punk ass poseur bitch.

And terribly, terribly defensive.

The whole point of the article appears to be to prove that Avril is an “artist”. That she controls her brand and her image. That she produces her own material. That she is a not manufactured. That she has always called the shots.

Question after question and answer after answer hammers home her point – which only reinforces the criticism that has been levelled at her all along, something Chantal Kreviazuk alluded to earlier this year. Click here for a refresher.

Time and again, Avril has had to answer charges that she doesn’t write her own songs, that she claims credit from others who surround her as she pretends to create her sh-tty collection of songs.

So now it’s time to deliver some key messages. Word for word, these are some of the bolded headings in the article:

- Avril’s career was not handed to her on a silver platter

- She can already release a greatest hits CD with only 3 albums to her credit

- She’s actually a fair but firm boss to work for (snort)

- She never lets anyone control her image

- She’s a leader onstage and in the studio (are you throwing up yet???)

- She knows where her money goes. Every penny. (is that an accomplishment now? Are we now distinguishing people for common sense banking habits???)

- She works hard for her money

And on and on it goes. Total f*cking Rossum. And 14 year olds are going to eat this sh-t up.

Flare Magazine the November issue comes out this week. I’m on page 102!