Dear Gossips,

Barbara Walters got it right…OF COURSE JK Rowling had to top the Most Fascinating List. Curious though that she couldn’t get an interview, that Babs’s #1 was the only person on the list who did not appear on the show. Maybe Jo hates that old hag? Maybe Posh now hates that old hag too? Because the lighting was terrible, non?

But still…the most interesting profile piece had to be the Beckhams. For Victoria. Said it before, will say it again: I could watch her all day. Every day. It’s her absurdity, you know? It’s the over-camp (is that possible?), it’s the way she can’t relax, even while seated on a couch, the way she and David had to cross arms over each other, hands strategically gripped on each other’s thighs. Being Mrs Beckham takes sacrifice. I love her because she doesn’t make it look easy. I love her because she is so desperate to make you look period.

And vanity aside, Posh is also terribly engaging. Perhaps we North Americans don’t have as sophisticated a sense of humour as you Brits who hate her so, but Victoria.Is.Funny. She’s colourful, she’s amusing…laugh with her, laugh AT her, whatever. Bitch cracks me up. And I know she cracks you up too – don’t lie.

Favourite part of interview? Definitely when Barbara asked her: you’re so thin! Do you eat a cookie, do you ever enjoy a piece of chocolate cake?

I could almost hear Posh thinking, thinking about whether or not she should lie. And in the end she decided not to, replying simply: No. And I’ll take this over the rest of them skinny bitches who claim to indulge whenever they want and maintain size 0. Victoria never indulges. As f&cked up as that is, at least she doesn’t lie about it.

Here they are last night at Mint, showing up to support Sporty Mel C who played a small solo gig for an audience of only 75 that also included Mel B and her creepy husband. Apparently the Beckhams touched each other all night, arms and legs constantly entangled, he stroking her shoulders and waist, her hands not straying far from his ass. Beckham Porn. Yum!

Friday, am posting all day, come back often! Have a great weekend!

Yours in gossip,

Lainey

PS. Condom-free Sleaze is not is not John Mayer.

Barbara Walters Gossip

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